Federation Duchy Review with Poco

May 26, 1998

Chiefsgirl smiles, "Hiya Poco"

"Oh yeah, three minutes early", says Poco.

"I woulda brought some POs, but I don't know any of their E-Mail addresses and they're prolly all drunk anyhow", says Poco.

"If one drops in, I'll kidnap him. And I'll BRB...I need a stiff drink for this", says Poco.

"Ahhh, there we go...scotch", says Poco.

Poco says, "So, how's this all go? :P"

"you just start dancing Poco"-)", says Japresnik.

"Well ... Poco, you tell lies .. and we all smile", smiles Kevinwire.

Poco says, "Good...I'm great at that"

Japresnik says, "we will start to toss groats and buy drinks"

The cleaner has just arrived.

Poco snogs the Cleaner

The cleaner has just left.

Chiefsgirl climbs up on her barstool and clears her throat

"I'd like to welcome you all to the duchy review", Chiefsgirl smiles.

"It happens every Tuesday evening, right here at 9pm EDT", you say.

Japresnik notices that Cheifsgirl has her own barstool here

Poseidon thinks they need a fish tank in here for me to sit in

"Tonight I'm honored to have Duchess Poco of Weasel as our guest", Chiefsgirl smiles.

Amarushaya thought that was why we had the fountain.

Poco tips her scotch to the crowd

Poseidon crawls into the fountain .. good idea

Chiefsgirl smiles, "We'll let Poco tell us a bit about herself and her duchy and then take questions and comments"

Chiefsgirl flops down on her barstool and sips her drink

Chiefsgirl applauds for Poco

Poseidon claps his fins together splashin the weasel,,,whooops

Poco sits back in her chair and begins to spin the biggest spool of lies you'll ever have the opportunity to enjoy...no names have been changed to protect the guilty either

Poseidon sinks lower in the fountain

"It all started in the earth year 1995, roundabouts August 1", says Poco.

Poco says, "I was a fresh-faced Weasel, on the prowl for a good Gin Fizz ::Thwacks Jap::"

Japresnik grabs his bruised head

Kevinwire holds up a cue card "Never hire a Weasel ..."

Poco says, "Came across this bar...Starship cantina or something like that...had this deranged lady in there...MetaIGirl"

"An impromptu performance by her was my introduction to Fed. I was suitably frightened", says Poco.

Chiefsgirl wonders about this performance

"Can't be repeated here...I don't know how it got past AOL TOS", says Poco.

"Anyhow...I was one of those people that read all the guides before she played the game. I then read Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "Xanadu", consumed a good deal of scotch, and got my permit", says Poco.

"I can honestly say I never flew into the sun. But I did fly into tag-team SatinPCat and Booboohat...It was a bit rougher than flying into the sun...my first introduction to Fed consequences", says Poco.

Poco says, "At the time, it was a privilege to be hired by a JP. There weren't very many of them. And if you didn't know it was a privilege, they'd let you know."

Poseidon doesnt recall if he ever hired a weasel

Poco says, "I believe I was doing some hauling for Booboohat or Caitlin73 and I couldn't find Scratchwood, so I voided...not a good choice"

Rooster asks, "What location is it here?"

"CDs", smiles Barb.

"I finally got through all the boring hauling and made it to trader...a good rank to become a barfly at.", says Poco.

"Whoul you know the location #?", asks Rooster.

Barb says, "yes"

Rooster smiles, "Can you tell me please"

Barb points out the Poco has the floor and just about anything else she wants

Rooster bows to Barb

Barb says, "I can" and thinks about precise syntax

Kevinwire give CG a Peach Ice Cream soda

"That's when I started to meet some of the people I still know very well...and some who are gone now...FordTriton, Chasroll, GizmoF, Wallkhan", says Poco.

Poseidon allows poco the floor but claims the fountain

Poco says, "The fountain's my husband, Idiot"

"no the fountain is your husband, Bob", says Barb.

Poco smirks

"Dont make me have to slap your trailer trash self around in front of all these people", smiles Poseidon.

Poco returns to her scotch and wonders where she was. Trader...yadda yadda yadda...Oh yes, JP...much fun

Amarushaya does not think that the Weasel's coming and goings are really what the general populace wants to hear about.

"Happy Fuzzy Weasel Co. was a roaring success and somehow I had worked long enough to become a JP so I could harass haulers...something I loved", says Poco.

Kevinwire hold up a sign Weasel Crossing

Poseidon holds up another sign, 20 points for weasels in crossings

Poco says, "Yeah, just wait till yer duchy review...All of weasel will be here to drunkenly revel in making you...oh, blackmail for another time, folks"

Poseidon sinks back into the fountain

"So I had fun tormenting haulers, hanging around in bars with TwoX and Saintflame and Fordtriton, and generally being a visible nuisance on channel 6", says Poco.

"I particularly liked watching Chasroll stumble into the cantina after failing puzzle attempts", says Poco.

Chiefsgirl laughs but sympathizes with failed puzzle attempts

Rooster has bought you a Screwdrivers!

Barb neatly tucks her screwdriver in her toolkit

"I then began my illicit real-estate trade to finance my rise to...uhmmm...squire, is it? Yes, that's the one, completed the puzzle, spent about 30 seconds at GM, and got to work on creating a Haven for Communism and Hopeless Bureaucracy", says Poco.

Poseidon takes his screwdriver and proceeds to take the bar apart

Poco shakes her head to clear it...sorry if I'm a bit slow

Poco says, "errr, yes...squire...I joined Roissy and thoroughly enjoyed the overbearing rule of MarciJones...not quite"

Poco says, "Finally AOL Fed caught up with the times and obtained a suitably crazed Duke with a sure-fire case of egotism and good colour-schemes...The Occcy"

Poco says, "Zippy was filled with a nice mix of eccentric characters like NAMcD, and The Duke was fun, until I fled under cover of night for Fantasy, and later Carroll...always a pain getting chased out of a duchy by an angry mob"

"it ainÕt so bad Poco", says Deathiscome with a wink.

"I met many good friends at PO...this piano player here was one of em :)...", says Poco.

"Did you always aspire to be a duchess, Poco?", Chiefsgirl asks.

"thanks", says Pianoman.

Poco says, "And then there were the marriages...I needed something to fill the time at Duchesse...and a vicious cycle started"

Poco smiles, "Yes, Chiefs"

Poseidon grimaces at the marriages

"I would like to bring a witness to the stand", says Poco.

Chiefsgirl nods

Poco says, "I present to you Posie, the flower-duke"

Poco says, "sum up our marriage in one phrase, Posie"

"Hell ! <g> Or Starvation", says Poseidon.

Chiefsgirl wonders when Poco and Poseidon were married

Poco asks, "Uhmmm...roundabout plantin season, right, Posie?"

"When the hound-dogs were knee-deep in the grass?", asks Poco.

Poseidon says, "Yeah, never marry a weasel unless you need to lose weight"

Poco says, "We had a gorgeous double-wide though"

"and the honeymoon at luther's pool-hall was a blast", says Poco.

"Damn porch crashed after the weasel gained a few pounds, killed my best girlfri.. err huntin dawg", says Poseidon.

"Between marriages I married my entire duchy to itself and generally tormented subjugates like Pilgrim and Cleptoid", says Poco.

Barb says, "I liked the marriage to Oxcart"

Barb says, "and Shaver"

"Oh, the Shaver marriage was a great one", says Poco.

Chiefsgirl wonders if Poco knows how many marriages she's had

Poco says, "at last count, since the marriage-pyramid-scheme broke up, 234"

Chiefsgirl gasps

"That's how I built my fortune at Duchesse, with no exchange to run...I made quite a few divorce lawyers happy in that period", says Poco.

Poco likes to keep lawyers as pets

Poseidon refused to get a divorvce

Gimp asks, "Is there a score that is kept for marriages, like games played, or is it just a personal thing?"

Poco says, "Score should be kept, I think"

Chiefsgirl laughs

Poco says, "Unfortunately, my CPA was beheaded last week"

"And his records are with one of my lawyers...so, score probably can't be kept now", says Poco.

Poco says, "Keeping Despotic Communism alive and kicking in Fed is another pastime...a difficult one to uphold though"

Chiefsgirl thinks Poco must be the most married person around

Poco grows weary sometimes...it's as if the entire bureaucratic system I've created has become so wonderfully inefficient, that it even ignores me now

"yeah chiefs, for a weasel, she's quite a tramp <g>", says Poseidon.

Poco is chaste...I only marry for the money

Poseidon says, "Yeah and i had the ritziest trailer in the park"

Poco nods...more pink flamingos than anyone else

Poseidon says, "And dont forget the fine appliances in the yard, or the buick on blocks"

"Another good marriage was the abduction of Aurendir", says Poco.

Poco says, "He burned down my planet though and I had to rebuild...traumatized both of us, that honeymoon did"

Chiefsgirl asks, "The abduction?"

Poco says, "Yes, what was known as the Aurendir Freeman Standoff...he holed up on my planet and would not leave...He barricaded himself into a bar and muttered crazed things on channel 9"

"He claims to this day that he was a prisoner, but I say it was the other way around", says Poco.

"most people mutter crazed things on channel 9 tho", says Barb.

"Yes, but his rantings weren't inane or banal...generally", says Poco.

Barb says, "oh well, that would be almost unique"

"allright...questions from the dirty huddled masses?", asks Poco.

Gimp raises his hand....

Kariscats may be huddled but is very clean

Poseidon asks, "Yeah when ya gonna finish the laundry ?"

Chiefsgirl asks, "Yes Gimp?"

Gimp asks, "As a long time duchess, what do you do now that you are a the top?"

"I'm not always on top", says Poco.

"Oh, figuratively", says Poco.

Gimp says, "I ask because I notice that there are many players that don't sem to play."

Poseidon laughs, top bottom or even the middle <g>

Cressida is on the floor...expected that one...

"Thanks for not disappointing me Posei..", says Cressida with a wink.

Poseidon says, "My pleasure..."

Poco says, "Well, I'm around often I'd say. I like to check in and see if any subjugates are online. And if so, I like to torment them in various ways...withholding paychecks, beatings, etc..."

"Do they mind when you withhold the beatings, Poco?", asks Kingslady.

"I like to do Nature Specials for the good of the people...but people just don't like to hear stories about the wily-spotted kelp clam anymore", says Poco.

Poco says, "Pilgrim does"

Barb says, "I prefer the Lemur conventions"

Poseidon is rather proud of the spotted clam

"I have seen very few, tight knit duchies and subsequently wonder if it is due to lack of Duke/Duchess involvement.", says Gimp.

Poco has a sign in her office "The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves"

Poseidon re-reads that and shuts up

Kingslady finds the spotted clam something of which to be very proud

"Oh, I'd say we're a close-knit group. We don't trade with foreigners. We don't care for work. We live on the government dole and drink frequently", says Poco.

Barb says, "They had to close the Warsaw Zoo"

"the clam died", says Barb.

Poco says, "We don't like to socialize with the foreign infidels...this is a bit difficult for me"

Poco smiles, "We're quite Xenophobic, but Nickdanger keeps us happy with his cheerful outlook on life"

"And I often see references to a player named Onyx. What are your sentiments of him/her?", asks Gimp.

"And Bluebeard is our sober voice of reason", says Poco.

Cressida raises her eyebrows..."Nickdanger? Cheerful?"

"Yes, and I'm the serious, unsarcastic, sweet Duchesse", says Poco.

Poseidon coughs

"pull your boots up, Posie...it's gettin deep!", exclaims Poco.

Barb gets out her wellies

Poseidon looks for boots, or even feet

Gimp says, "I hope so. I still don't know what all the hoopla was about that player."

"Us fish rarely wear our rubbers in public anyway", says Poseidon.

Barb says, "then just don't worry about it, Gimp"

Poco says, "Oh, Onyx...I didn't mind that...seems he dumped all over some peoples duchies and they threw a hissy-fit over it"

Barb says, "dumping has always been with Fed"

"Since we could care less about trade anyhow, it didn't really affect us...", says Poco.

Barb says, "now if people need something to worry about, I'd suggest they consider the lack off bog roll in the loos"

Poco says, "Some people see work and hauling as a sort of mantra...we let the bureaucratic system pacify our hopes, dreams, etc...and settle for a bleak, stark life"

Barb says, "that's not just serious, it's potentially disgusting"

"May I ask another?", asks Gimp.

Poseidon asks, "Aint that why them humans have hands ?"

Chiefsgirl never hauls

Bigfanboy perks up when he hears disgusting.

Poco says, "It's blissful. "Ignorance is Bliss" "War is Peace"--George Orwell, "1984""

"Big weasel is watching you ?", asks Poseidon.

Poco says, "Though we are planning a Coleridge party...someone in the duchy needs to build a pleasure dome though"

Barb asks, "err a stately pleasure dome?"

"is there an albatross in your duchy?", asks Sparhawk.

"Pleasure dome ? you mean like a double wide ?", asks Poseidon.

Poco says, "Even better, Posie"

Poco will play her dulcimer

Barb always thought double wide referred to Bella's bum

"No way, one of them new fangled sport utility houses ?", asks Poseidon.

"Anymore questions? Or can I bathe now and cleanse myself of this feeling of dirtyness I get when I leave Weasel?", asks Poco.

Poseidon asks, "Yer gonna bathe? Is it that time of year allready ?"

"Um yes. I have another.", says Gimp.

Barb asks, "what? No ritual putsch?"

Bigfanboy hands Poco a large damp spung

"Er sponge", says Bigfanboy.

Poco mutters...go ahead, ask the question

"no senseless slaughter of the lumpen proletariat?", asks Barb.

Kingslady always wanted a spung but has found them very hard to come by ;)

Poseidon says, "Ask what snoorfy means"

Poco smiles, "I can do that anytime I please...I'd rather bathe now"

Njrudeboy hands Poco a moistened towelette

Gimp says, "Will you be taking pictures as you bathe? ( No offense meant Poseidon. )"

Poco says, "only Sven and I know what it means...and maybe Nurse Helga...and they aren't talking"

Gimp smiles leacherously.....

"No, but I'll smoke a cigarette for you afterwards, Gimp...and I'll have my scribe send you a note attached to black orchids that reads "Live Vicariously...It Was Great Without You"", says Poco.

"Harsh", says Bigfanboy.

"Ah, the story of my life...again....", says Gimp.

Poco asks, "Anymore questions?"

Barb says, "I have a question"

"Oh, do ask", smiles Poco.

"Why does it always rain in Manchester?", asks Barb.

"It's an act of God...but don't ask me which God, or why", says Poco.

"Oh don't say that I'm moving to Warrington.", says Bigfanboy.

Barb will take this up with God later tonight, in that case

"How will you know which God?", asks Poco.

Njrudeboy says, "Because it is in Engalnd .... the stuffiness causes a permenant Low pressure system"

Bigfanboy says, "Well than hopefully a NY attitude will change the weather."

"Because there's only one God in Fed. After that you get Demi-Goddesses at discount", says Barb.

Sparhawk asks, "fed has a god?"

"dime-a-dozen ;P", says Poco.

Barb says, "and then grifters and other assorted hangers on"

Cptmartian says, "A god in fed... humans"

Barb says, "the wretched refuse"

"I love you all, I really do, I really do. Damn Scribe, wrote the same line twice. Oh Well, good-night people", says Poco.

"I want to thank Duchess Poco for being our guest", Chiefsgirl says.

Poco waves and snags her bottle of scotch

5 In, 4 Up, 6 Tomorrow...go figger Poco has just disappeared.

Chiefsgirl says, "Join me next week when I don't know who my guest will be"