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FED
MEET AND GREET HALLOWEEN SPECIAL with KAO, BARONESS of BABE |
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FED
MEET AND GREET HALLOWEEN SPECIAL with KAO, BARONESS of BABE |
Wolfyn dims the lights some more. Jamel says, "no wolfs putting out lights she eat us" Galinfenner gets off his stool and holds up his arms to the crowd Sirglec usually doesn's swear, but if that head screeches, I'll scream! Galinfenner says, "Welcome! Welcome to our show tonight." "Boo!", exclaims Paladin. Galinfenner smiles, "We have a special one for you, as tonight we are going to hear from Kao, who never fails to captivate audiences with her Halloween special." "SO, without further ado... Kao!", exclaims Galinfenner. Wolfyn howls! Emcee applauds kao Galinfenner hands the mike over to Kao and sits Madonnaboi applauds Xaemian screams HOORAY! Kao 's jack-o-lantern burps Snowstar bounces on Gasm's lap!!! Jazir applauds and cheers! Carrying Osama's head in a sack, Rchubb has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect. Sirglec applauds! Dooeee has given Rchubb a passionate tickle! Kao says, "The following is taken from a short story, The Best in the Business by Lucy Taylor." Paladin says, "scream all you want because in space, no one can hear you scream" Rchubb grins Katspurfor claps and grins Wolfyn turns out all the lights so the room is illuminated only by candlelight. Sirglec blows on the candles. Srgasman Boos! "Although I have heavily edited it, the story still has an R rating", says Kao. Madonnaboi screams Emcee giggles "Good job, Kao", smiles Snowstar. Kao slaps the jack-o-lantern Wolfyn covers Sirglec's ears. Raphael leers at Kao Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Sirglec screams! Xaemian exclaims, "Rated R!!!" Kao says, "The BEST in the BUSINESS......." "Gasm has gotta leave then", says Chewbacon with a wink. Rchubb pokes Galin Raphael tests his HOWL Kao says, "When Arturo first awakened after the avalanche, he was in his bed back in Baton Rouge and his mother was bending over him. She smelled of tequila and strong Mexican pot." Kao says, "To Arturo, her pale skin and crimson lips made an alarming contrast, reminding him of beads of blood like snow-encrusted rosebuds." Kao 's jack-o-lantern oooooooooos Snowstar asks, "OOo Cajun story...where be Ford??" "Snow...... Vast canopies of snow unfurling down the hillside like someone shaking out a carpet, his companions yelling at him to move and Arturo skiing, skiing for his life, except that he wasnt really experienced at back country skiing........", says Kao. Kao says, "He was only in Colorado because he had a job to do... and the avalanche kept gaining on him like a tsunami of snow and then that incredible roar, like standing on the runway next to a 747 taking off, and then-- night." Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Snowstar looks at Gasm, "She's talking ta me.." Srgasman nods Chewbacon stuffs some hotwings in Snow's mouth, "sshhh." =P Kao says, "Night in the middle of the day. He had never realized that snow could be so black." Snowstar munches and listens, sharing her hot wings with Flair... Srgasman shushes "But his mother was here. His mother with her racehorse legs and lilting laugh when theyd watch TV together and she gave him lots of motherly advice. Sometimes she let him drink her tequila or puff on her joint.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern leers at all the women Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Wolfyn leers back. "She never punished him, even when he lied and stole things because he was all she had after his father had run off.", says Kao. Kao says, "When he got older and too big to punish, had she wanted to, Arturo discovered that wha tpeople didnt want to give you in this world, you could take it if you were bigger and stronger and willing to hurt them enough to get it." Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Kao says, "Mama, Im hurt, he whined." "She placed her red lips on his forehead, the exact spot, thought Arturo, where youd wan to put the bullet if you were taking someone out. Her kiss made his skin tingle.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern oooooooooos "Then he remembered that he was forty-eight years old and his mother had been dead nineteen years, and fear hopped around in his stomach like a plague of toads.", says Kao. "The fear quadrupled, the toads in his belly leaping level with his heart, when he saw the angel. At least he thought thats what it was. Maudie Elway hadnt been much on religious training but Arturo had gone to Sunday school a time or two until h", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Kao says, "until he beat up a sissy-boy and was asked not to return." Kao 's jack-o-lantern leers at all the women Kao says, "This angel, though, was definitely not from any Bible School story." Kao says, "The angel looked more like a cross between a celestial divinity on a cathedral ceiling and a silicon-enhanced sexpot from a Fellini wet dream. In place of arms she had silvery wings folded across her upper body," Esperanza grins Srgasman whistles "plumping up her cleavage to display the enormity of her bosom.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern oooooooooos Kao 's jack-o-lantern leers at all the women Chewbacon perks. "Her dazzling white-blonde hair fell in deep drifts to her naked shoulders and her skin was almost luminescent.", says Kao. Snowstar exclaims, "Wooo!!!" Dooeee eats a tums Madonnaboi covers his virgin ears Kao says, "The angels wings stopped just short of covering the groin area and Arturo could see that the angel was definitely female, and very blonde." Belgarath grumbles at the competition to his leers Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Kao asks, "What is this? he demanded. Who are you?" Madonnaboi exclaims, "the HORROR!!!! oh the HORROR!!" "The winged creature offered him a smile as bright as Times Square and colder than the snow that had thundered down that Colorado mountain, burying him.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Madonnaboi covers his ears Kao says, "Hello, Arturo. Im your Sexangel." "Arturo sputtered with confusion and disbelief. My what??", asks Kao. Chewbacon needs one of them. Srgasman grins Kao says, "A Sexangel, said the being. An idealized sexual partner. The ultimate lay, as it were. Everybody has one pictured somewhere in their minds, that face and body that could make you hard, or wet, for eternity." Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles wickedly Snowstar thinks, "Isn't that a Apollonia song?" Kao says, "The Sexangel chuckled wickedly. Not even a saint can say no to a Sexangel. But unless you are very unlucky, we only appear after death." Kao 's jack-o-lantern burps Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches "Jesus, said Arturo. The avalanche. I died in a damned avalanche. I dont even like to ski. I was only there to do a hit on some ski bum who was balling the wrong guys girl.", says Kao. "He looked toward his mother for comfort. The angel was too glaring, too high voltage sexy that made his head and groin throb simultaneously. But his mothers eyes looked waxen and bruised. He had seen that look sometimes on people just before he", says Kao. Kao says, "took them out- numb, defeated, beyond terror." Srgasman says, "skiing=danger.." Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Wolfyn scoots closer to Sir. Kao says, "Whatever it was that could put that look in his mothers eyes, he didnt want to meet it." Snowstar clings to Gasm... "Mama, he said, What is it? Talk to me.", says Kao. "She looked at him with such dread that he tried to sit up and shake her, to force an explanation, but found himself immobile, pressed back down by a terrible weight and a cold that probed along his spine.", says Kao. Kao says, "Good bye for now, Arturo, said the Sexangel. But dont worry. Youll see me again." Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Kao says, "The Sexangel lowered her radiant head and deep-kissed Arturos mother. A tremor shivered through its body and the wings cocooned tightly around her." Madonnaboi wants a sexangel Srgasman breathes easier Kao says, "When she unfurled them, the Sexangel had transformed into an entirely different being." Rasal gets frightened and hides his face against Esperanza's neck. Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Esperanza comforts Rasal Snowlily shivers deliciously "Ready, Maudie? the new creature whispered. Its voice was male now, deep and resonant. Arturos mother gave a tiny whimper.", says Kao. Kao says, "The Sexangel lifted up its wings revealing a very masculine and virile body, a massive phallus bobbing against the lightly feathered belly. As it embraced Arturos mother, she seemed to swoon." Kao 's jack-o-lantern leers at all the women "For a moment, all Arturo could see was her black hair tumbling into disarray under the kiss of the virile angel. The muscular flanks bucked lewdly. Arturos mother groaned and broke into piteous weeping. It sounded to Arturo as if she was pleading", says Kao. ", pleading for her life perhaps?", asks Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Snowstar whimpers.. Kao 's jack-o-lantern leers at all the women "He had heard such shameless pleas before. Usually they came from some underworld hireling who had fallen out of favor with the mob, or a drug dealer who had turned FBI informant. The pleading would begin about the time Arturo made the victim get", says Kao. "on his knees, hands behind his neck.", says Kao. Srgasman eyes widen Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Kao says, "He always gave them time to pray. Funny thing was, they didnt pray to any God. They prayed to Arturo, their executioner. Their prayers were pleas and promises and desperate begging that he might spare their lives." Kao says, "He never did. That was why he was the best in the business." Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Kao says, "But now those same words - please and stop and no- coming from his mother made his stomach convulse and her tone changed subtly so that no began to sound like yes and stop like go on forever." Madonnaboi clings to ibunyc in fear Madonnaboi buries face in ibu's chest "Afterward, the light was gone from her eyes and her breath came in ragged little gasps as though something hard and jagged was tearing at her insides.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles wickedly Xaemian screams! "Time to begin, said the angel. Its face had changed, too, the features masculine, but still coldly, glaringly beautful.", says Kao. Ibunyc screams too Madonnaboi holds ibu tight "The angel gestured with a wing toward the wall opposite the bed where Arturo lay pinned down by excruciating cold. In his real room the wall had been papered with pictures of dinosaurs and astronauts.", says Kao. Dooeee grins Kao says, "Later, as he got older, Arturo papered the wall with PENTHOUSE centerfolds that his mother pretended not to see. Now the wall was bare and gray." Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Kao says, "As he watched, Arturo saw images move on that blank wall, shifting and changing like clouds being carried by a strong wind." "His mother and the Sexangel watched, too. As soon as Arturo realized what they were watching, he swore and tried to distract her. Christ! She mustnt see the things he had done! She had loved him blindly.", says Kao. "Now, Arturos mom tried to turn away, but the Sexangel tilted her chin up, and began caressing the length of her body, eliciting strange, erotic sounds from Maudies mouth that Arturo found almost sickening as he watched his mother watch the scene", says Kao. Kao says, "scenes unfold on the wall." Kao says, "Arturo was forcing a man and a woman into the trunk of a car. The woman struggled and he had to smack her across the jaw with the barrel of his gun. The man begged and tried to make a deal. The car was a white Cadillac.... the landscape that of the" "desert outside Tucson.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings "Arturo remembered hiding his rental car and walking to where the two sat killing a sixpack while they waited for an Arthur morisset of Miami to buy four kilos of cocaine.", says Kao. "The man was a mexican, little more than a mule, but an ambitious mule whod skimmedt oo much of his boss profits. The woman was his unfortunate companion.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Xaemian screams! Kao says, "The woman was sobbing now, and so was Arturos mother, but the images kept unfolding, relentless and horrific... Arturo syphoning gas from the Caddy and ringing the car with it before tossing the match." Kao says, "Arturos eyes were glued to the images on the wall..... the Cadillac exploded in flames, cooking like raw meat on a barbecue.... and the sounds.... the screaming... had he really heard the screams so clearly the first time?...... as the two" Kao says, "two victims roasted alive in their metal coffin." Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles wickedly Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings "Ewww", says Esperanza. Katspurfor shudders "Arturo? Arturo? His mothers voice. Is that an erection I see?", asks Kao. Kao asks, "He squirmed with shame, like the time she caught him masturbating into her bra. But at least that was normal for teenage boys. Did she know he always got a hard-on when he killed someone?" Kao asks, "Did she know that it was the sexual rush he got from inflicting pain that really made him the best in the business?" Kao 's jack-o-lantern leers at all the women "Masturbated into her bra?", asks Snowstar. Kao says, "Sweetheart, Im so very sorry, she was saying. She leaned over him and the smell of pot overpowered her perfume. I have to do this. He says I must." "Before Arturo realized what she was doing, he felt the surge of heat. Flames bloomed like roses in his mothers hands. She was juggling fire and, with a cry, tossed her gaudy bundle onto Arturos bed.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Kao says, "In an instant it became an inferno. Flames crawled up his shins, torched his penis and groin and gnawed at his neck and chest. Arturo howled as the flames found his mouth and rammed their way inside. His screams were snuffed out as his lungs" "exploded.", says Kao. Madonnaboi grabs his crotch, OUCH Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Srgasman cringes Snowstar covers Gasm's crotch! Chewbacon jumps and crosses his legs! Kao says, "The flames consumed him, reducing him to charred bones and blackened flesh. And still he lived. And still he heard his mother weeping." Xaemian HOWLS! Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Emcee hands the jack-o-lantern another beer Kao says, "He lived. This above all apalled him. Surely one who had charted new territories in pain had the right to die." "Yet within moments his gruesome injuries were healing. The wall writhed again with its obscene images and his mother looked smaller and older, her eyes deeply sunken wounds. The Sexangel kept a wing protectively around her, caressing her face with", says Kao. "with its silky feathers.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles wickedly Srgasman whews.. Kao pours beer into the jack-o-lantern Kao 's jack-o-lantern burps Wolfyn shivers. "Now Arturo recognized Buddy Mendoza, who had screwed over a very importan Italian gentleman to the tune of about $300k a few years back. Have fun with this scumbag, Arturos boss had said.", says Kao. Ditzy chuckles. Kao says, "And, boy! Did Arturo have fun! He got out his Handy Home Repairmans Tool Kit that anex-girlfriend had given him believing he was good at fixing things. Actually, Arturo was good at taking things apart." Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches "He took that Mendoza creep apart, piece by bloody piece, using wrenches, pliers and a drill.", says Kao. "ooh... gonna make a turkey outta him", says Chewbacon. Snowstar leans back against Gasm, whispering scary stuff.. Srgasman says, "A body mechanic" "The torturing of Mendoza, Arturo discovered, was a lot less fun the second time around and seemed to last a lot longer.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles wickedly Kao says, "Through it all the Sexangel was fondling Maudie, murmuring in her ear and stroking her hair, wedding the erotic and the tender with the unspeakable and the ghastly." Kao says, "Arturo could see her shoulders quaver and hear her hiccoughy sobs above the obscene gurgling noises coming from Mendoza." Kao says, "But when the scene finished and the woman who claimed to love him more than life itself stepped toward him, Arturo could only utter the kind of desperate babbling pleas he had heard from many of his victims." Kao says, "Please, Mama, dont. Do do this. You dont want to. I know you dont. Arturo sobbed." Kao 's jack-o-lantern oooooooooos Kao says, "I must, she said. He wants me to." "No, you dont, Arturo was near hysteria. I am your son. You love me.", says Kao. Kao says, "I have to please him or he wont screw me anymore, his mother said as the wrenchs strong jaws seized his penis like a pitbull made of metal and blood spewed as Maudie Elway proceeded to dismantle her son." Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches "Ouch", says Wolfyn. "eeep", says Emcee. Snowlily shivers violently! Galinfenner squirms "When it was over, there was a brief respite, in which Arturo plummeted through a cold, white pain so complete and so terrible that the sheer excess of suffering left him numb.", says Kao. Esperanza says, "ick" "Yikes!", exclaims Ditzy. Chewbacon crosses his legs tighter. "Then the Sexangel changed into its female form, all honey and musk and curves, and licked his mutilated body, tonguing the stumps and gouges. Her touch brought his body back to life, but not to pleasure him. She sensitized him to more pain.", says Kao. Katspurfor pulls a pillow onto his lap Kao says, "No sooner did her caresses stir him than the agony returned, and she left him to his suffering." Madonnaboi says, "remind me to never light a match when naked again" Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Kao says, "Episode after grisly episode flashed on the wall and Arturo was forced to watch. All the while the Sexangel, in its male form, was screwing his mother. At the end of each episode his mother would apologize and then shoot, stab, beat or hammer him" "to death amid excruciating pain.", says Kao. Kao says, "After the latest episode, in which Arturos mother had mimicked what he did to that Puerto Rican drug informant by tying piano wire around his testicles and then yanking with all her strength, Arturo howled in pain, unable to move beneath the" "I'm scared!", exclaims Xaemian. Xaemian shivers. "smothering cold weight that pinned him.", says Kao. Chewbacon is glad he lives with his dad. "In his pain he had bitten his lower lip to shreds. His penis was in pieces between bloody thighs. His mother was huddled in a corner, weeping. Her hair had gone ashen-white and she was babbling incoherently.", says Kao. "Ouch..", says Snowstar. "The Sexangel kissed Arturo quickly on the forehead and then sex-changed so fast that he could almost feel the estrogen rush coursing through her as her pectorals swelled to D-cup breasts and she oozed femininity.", says Kao. Xaemian shivers. Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles wickedly Xaemian shivers. "Her smile, scaldingly bright, blazed down on him and Arturo cringed and wriggled as though skewered on her stare.", says Kao. "Keep away from me, he babbled. I know what this is. I never believed it before... but I know! This is Hell and youre some kind of devil sent to torture me. Thats it, aint it?", asks Kao. "Arturo discovered that his penis must have magically healed because he was wetting himself from fear.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings "The Sexangel laughed, a melodic trill that degenerated into a rasp. Her lovely face changed once again, becoming a slack-faced, leering demon. Ringlets of decomposing flesh dripped from her skull.", says Kao. Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Xaemian hides behind Esperanza. "shivers", says Srgasman. Kao says, "She bent and forced a kiss on Arturos mouth. Her breath smelled like excrement, her eyes sightless as a corpse." Kao says, "Wrong, Arturo, the transformed angel croaked. As usual you think the world revolves around you. You think that even Hell revolves around you." "She leaned in closer, her breath almost searing his flesh. This isnt your hell. Its your mothers.", says Kao. Emcee says, "wow" Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles wickedly Kao says, "Suddenly, Arturo was plunging down the snow chute again, the noise welling up behind him and he knew that he could no more outrun it now than he could the first time." "oooo", says Snowlily. Kao says, "The avalanche swept up and over him, smashing his legs and snuffing out his sight. But in the icey dark under eight feet of snow he could still see the Sexangel." Madonnaboi says, "OMG" Kao says, "She was transforming herself again. Instead of feathers her white wings were made of icicles. Her hair was black, her full lips scarlet and she smelled of tequila and pot." Kao 's jack-o-lantern leers at all the women Kao says, "Your hell starts now, Arturo, the Maudie-Sexangel crooned. And remember, I am the best in the business." Srgasman whistles! Dooeee moans "oh my", says Katspurfor. Kao bows Kao 's jack-o-lantern cackles and blows smoke rings Jamel cheers Srgasman applauds Madonnaboi applauds Emcee hands the jack-o-lantern another beer Chewbacon claps! Snowlily whistles and claps Kao 's jack-o-lantern burps Xaemian shivers still. Katspurfor claps Emcee applauds Kao' story Jazir smiles and claps Ditzy gives a standing ovation Ibunyc claps Dooeee claps and whistles Galinfenner stands up and claps Uraspy applauds... Belgarath whistles and claps, leering at Kao Ditzy smiles, "Twas wonderful" Xaemian is to scared to applaud. Snowstar unclings from Gasm long enough to clap loudly!!! Galinfenner smiles, "That was wonderfully gruesome." Kao hops onto the bar and puts her head back on Raphael applauds "and painful", says Madonnaboi. Kao 's jack-o-lantern screeches Dooeee loved it Galinfenner grins Esperanza is still grossed out but applauds anyway Satine grins and glad she didn't feel the same kind of pain as most in the room ;) "nicely done Kao!", exclaims Srgasman. "Happy Halloween, everyone", says Kao with a wink. Katspurfor chucklez Katspurfor says, "u to kao" Wolfyn howls! "Thanks much Kao, that really was great.", says Galinfenner. Ditzy smiles, "The best story yet" Snowlily smiles, "yes!" "Thank you all for coming tonight!", exclaims Galinfenner. Kao hops onto a barstool and sips her beer, pouring some into the jack-o-lantern Kao 's jack-o-lantern burps "Thanks for hosting, Galin.", smiles Snowlily. Dooeee bows to Kao: and whispers very nice. Galinfenner says, "Next week, our guest is going to be Madonnaboi." "Remember the new time! 10pm eastern!", exclaims Galinfenner. Satine is just glad she finally got to see under Galin's kilt! Madonnaboi asks, "so who's coming to quiz me next week??" Madonnaboi laughs Galinfenner exclaims, "Thanks again Kao. Thanks everyone!" |
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