THE MONTH IN BRIEF
Good news for Traders: remote price checking was introduced for Traders to follow the progress of their futures contracts without having to leave their favorite bar.
Bad news for Traders: proving that what one hand giveth, the other taketh away, Messrs Trumble, Cruikshank & Bone started to levy a commission on profits made from futures contracts.
Good news for Traders: the taxman revised the tax threshold for this rank upwards, allowing you to keep more of your hard-earned cash before he swoops.
The rank intended to come after Trader, which was previously known as Journeyman/woman/thing, was renamed to Industrialist.
The monorail on Earth was opened, providing fast transit between the spaceport and the trading exchange.
The first puzzle planet of Fed II was opened for Halloween: Nightmare, where things had gone very wrong at a holiday resort on a comet.
Bella gave the first information about her plans for companies and factories, which she had been working on all month. Of course, nothing she said could be taken as gospel, because she has a reputation for changing her mind!
EARTH TRANSIT AUTHORITY OPENS LONG-AWAITED MONORAIL
by our transport correspondent
The Earth Transit Authority is pleased to announce the opening of the new monorail system, linking the planet's spaceport to the financial district. This prestigious new project will provide easy access to the main wealth-creating area of the city, which is the destination of many visitors to Earth. Itinerant Merchants and Traders will find the shortcut particularly useful, since for them, saving time and effort can mean the difference between struggling to make ends meet, and making sufficient profit to advance.
This is the first stage of this massive project. Just two stations are open so far: Spaceport and New Wall Street, with the monorail shuttling between them. A further station is planned halfway along the existing line, at the Galactic Administration HQ, and work is also proceeding to extend the line to the farthest reaches of the city.
Passengers on the monorail have been impressed by the new service. Edna Crummidge, who works as a clerk in the brokerage firm Trumble, Cruikshank and Bone, was one of the first passengers to ride the new monorail. She was delighted by the train. "I used to have to walk from the Level 7 dorms to the exchange every day to get to work, and it took ages," she told our reporter. "Then after a hard day's work I had to trudge all the way back again. Now, I can just hop on the monorail and be there in a trice."
Schoolboy Jadex Magnom Jr also loves the new service. "Brilliant!" he enthused. "Amazing! It's awesome. Completely ace."
Not everyone is so impressed, though. Shopkeepers and residents in the main commercial area on Earth feel their lives have been blighted by the construction work, and those whose properties are over-shadowed by the raised monorail line are furious at the negative effect this has on their property prices. Meanwhile, even those who are in favor of the monorail are angry that the project ran four years late, and is massively over-budget, with the shortfall having to be made up by government bail-outs. What's more, the plans had to be drastically scaled back until only two stations could be completed for the grand opening.
Work continues on the line, with the GA pressing for the station serving their HQ to be completed by the end of the year. But it remains to be seen whether the Transit Authority can overcome the problems which have dogged the project so far, and complete the rest on time, and on budget.
A GIFT FROM THE TAXMAN
The Galactic Administration's taxation department is not normally known for its generosity. On the contrary, anyone who has fallen foul of the one of the Internal Revenue's rapacious and ruthless operatives will realise that the job requirements include an absence of even the tiniest shred of compassion and human feeling.
So it is with surprise - shock, even - that we report on a change to the taxation rules that people will actually see as a good thing!
The cash limit for Traders has been revised upwards. Yes, upwards! The clasping claws of the taxman will now keep off your bank balance until it reaches the new limit of 1,000,000IG (a megagroat).
We have no idea what is behind such unexpected largesse. We cannot believe that the Imperial Chancellor has actually had a change of heart - if, indeed, he is in possession of such an organ. Still, whatever the cause, we can only applaud this loosening of his fiduciary grip, and hope he will be implementing more positive measures in the future.
COMETARY SKI RESORT OPENING SOON
There are many places that those looking for an unusual vacation can go. You can take a camping trip in the Martian desert, a sight-seeing voyage through Saturn's rings, or discover your very own asteroid. But if you're yawning and saying "Been there, done that," then how about a once-in-a-lifetime holiday experience?
On a comet!
Star Holidays have built a skiing resort on the comet Kajagoo-Bottle-Hythe which recently appeared in the Solar System for the first time in 173 years. In conjunction with Slarti's planetary workshops in Magrathea they have transformed the "snowball" that makes up the nucleus of the comet into a luxury resort with ski slopes to suit both expert and novice skiers.
There are two levels of accommodation: a seven-star hotel for those who want to be surrounded by the little luxuries they are accustomed to; and self-catering chalets for those on a more restricted budget. Bookings are already flooding in, and space is limited - this resort will only be open for a month while the comet moves closer to the Sun, then it'll be gone forever.
The resort opens on Sunday October 31 with an official reception (Halloween theme, of course!).
DISASTER HITS COMET RESORT
Reports are coming in of a disaster at the Star Holidays resort on comet Kajagoo-Bottle-Hythe. Although no official statements have been issued by the vacation company, we understand from our sources within the head office that all contact has been suddenly lost with the resort.
The luxury skiing resort was due to open on October 31, offering vacations for the Solar System's moneyed classes for a limited period, while the comet travelled through the Solar System past Earth and headed towards the sun.
The resort was fully staffed and although not yet open to the public, it was hosting a small party of journalists staying there for free as part of Star Holidays' PR campaign. No journalists from the Fed II Star were invited, although we had assumed that our society columnist would be attending the opening night Halloween ball.
We have learnt that nobody on the comet is answering the comms, and the journalists are also out of contact. Working on the assumption that the problem must be faulty equipment, Star Holidays have sent an agent to investigate and make any repairs necessary. At the time of writing, he hasn't reported back.
We'll bring you more news on this breaking story as it comes in.
Stop Press:
We've just learnt from sources close to the Star Holidays management team that a report has been received from the agent despatched to the comet. It tells of something terrible happening in the resort. It seems all the people - staff and journalists - have vanished, and there are signs of extreme violence having taken place.
The report goes on to say that there are monsters running amok on the comet. At this point, one can only assume the agent's sanity has to be doubted: he talks of witches, ghosts and vampires, fantasy monsters that only exist in nightmares. We are told his report broke off in mid-sentence and contact could not be re-established with the agency.
Keep reading the Fed II Star for more news on the mysterious tragedy that has befallen the resort on comet Kajagoo-Bottle-Hythe.
STAR HOLIDAYS CALLS FOR HELP DEALING WITH NIGHTMARE COMET CRISIS
Star Holidays has finally come clean about the disaster that has befallen its luxury skiing resort on comet Kajagoo-Bottle-Hythe. Until now, the company has been trying to maintain the pretense that nothing serious was wrong, and that the loss of communication with the resort was due to mechanical difficulties; however, our sources had discovered that the staff on the resort had vanished amidst violent and sinister circumstances, and that some kind of monsters were rampaging around the resort.
We had further discovered that the monsters seemed to be the kind of fantasy monsters associated with Halloween - witches and zombies and so on.
Now, in a reversal of their previous position, Star Holidays has admitted that things are very wrong on the comet. A spokesthing today issued the following statement:
"I very much regret to say that the rumors you have heard about the incident on comet Kajagoo-Bottle-Hythe are true. The staff have all vanished, and the resort is infested with what can only be described as Halloween monsters. It's like some kind of nightmare. We have sent a team of analysts to the resort and they have a theory that these monsters, although physical and solid - real, if you like - are actually manifestations of some kind. Something has taken the idea of Halloween monsters from the minds of the people in the resort, who were preparing for the big opening ball, and made them corporeal.
"Our analysts are continuing to gather information, but to be frank, this is beyond our area of expertise - we're travel agents, not action heroes! We are reluctant to go so far as to call on the Imperial Navy for help dealing with the situation - that never ends well - but we need someone to go in and figure out what, exactly, is going on.
"Volunteers should fly to the comet, which is currently located in a sector NE, NE of Earth. When you land and head towards the resort, you will be met."
The spokesthing refused to answer any further questions. We will, of course, be dispatching a Fed II Star newsdroid to investigate the situation on the Star Holidays skiing resort which is now known as Nightmare, and when the mystery is solved we will tell you all about it.
GALACTIC ADMINISTRATION TO INVESTIGATE FRIVOLOUS LAWSUITS
A special committee has been convened to investigate the problem of frivolous law suits which are clogging up the Solar System's courts, preventing serious cases from being seen in a timely manner. We at the Fed II Star applaud this initiative. We have long campaigned against the litigious nature of today's victim culture, where any misfortune is seen as the opportunity to seek huge payouts in compensation.
An example of the kind of case which should never have been allotted court time is the ongoing dispute over injuries caused by illegal use of someone else's vehice. We speak of Antonia and her notorious speedster accident. She has brought suit against numerous parties - including Diesel, a good friend of the demi-goddess Hazed (who owns and runs this illustrious newspaper). The case is awaiting a trial date but in the meantime it is worth re-examining the basis of the plaintiff's complaints.
The facts are these. Antonia spent an evening in Chez Diesel, socialising with her friends and drinking a variety of alcoholic beverages, including the bar's house ale, which is well known to be potent. On leaving the bar, she walked (somewhat unsteadily, we understand) to the spaceport, intending to spend the night in her ship. However, she took a wrong turning in the space port and found herself in the area reserved for city council officials. As many people have discovered, one of the vehicles parked there is a bright red sportster.
Antonia's attention was caught by this ship, so she got into it and flew it on a quick circuit of Mars and its two moons. Her landing was, however, clumsy and she suffered severe injury leading to death. Given that she was insured at the time, the death was only an inconvenience and she was resurrected in the Earth hospital in the normal procedure.
Antonia does not dispute these facts, and neither does her laywer. And yet, she asks us to believe that she is not to blame for her injuries, but that the Galactic Administration, Diesel, and others are - and that she should be compensated for the suffering she underwent.
Now, we don't want to say anything that might prejudice the outcome of the case, but we believe any right-thinking person can clearly see that the fault lies with one person, and one person alone - the person who recklessly broke into the vehicle, flew it away without the owner's consent, drove it while intoxicated, and crashed it upon landing.
And so we are delighted that the Galactic Administration is now turning its attention to this gross misuse of the Galaxy's legal systems, and hope their report will be published in a timely manner, before the case of Antonia v. G.A., Diesel, et al, is brought before a judge.
REAL LIFE NEWS: PICTURES OF TITAN
The spaceship Cassini flew past Titan last week on its closest approach yet to Saturn's moon. Its first pictures have been beamed back to Earth, and they reveal glimpses of surface features, with some clearly delineated dark and light areas. Scientists studying the pictures have described them as "tantalising" and speculate that the bright areas could be icy regions rising out of a slushy area - or alternatively lava that has flowed and covered up some of the terrain.
Another possibility is that that the dark patches would indicate liquid methane or ethane. This would tally with theories that the moon could harbor hydrocarbon oceans and lakes.
The images also show streaky areas of the surface which could be caused by winds.
Titan is the second largest moon in the Solar System, and conditions there are thought to be very similar to those on Earth 4.6 billion years ago. Temperatures rarely rise above -179C (-290F) and the atmosphere is dominated by nitrogen and carbon-based compounds. So mission scientists think the moon might teach us something about the conditions that were necessary for life to appear on our planet.
The fly-by has not only provided these close-up pictures of the moon, it has also altered Cassini's orbit of Saturn, shortening its period from four months, to 48 days. The craft will make its next close approach to Titan on December 13, and will release the Huygens probe onto the moon on Christmas day.
See some of the pictures taken by Cassini at http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/cassini/media/index.html.
REAL LIFE NEWS: SPACESHIPONE SUCCEEDS
I am sure you have all read news reports about SpaceShipOne's successful second flight, which means it has won the $10 million Ansari X-Prize, so I won't go on about it at length. I will just point you to http://www.xprize.org/press_room/press_releases/press.php?articleID=127, where you can play the video of the record-breaking flight.
Well done, SpaceShipOne!
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