GRADUATION PARTY A SUCCESS
by an anonymous party-goer
We had a wonderful time at the Graduation Party, held last Saturday night at Chez Diesel. The decorations were wonderful and festive, the free beer nice and cold, and a special party treat helped to keep us busy - Party Poppers!
Chez Diesel (Social Center of the Solar System)
The bar has been decorated for the party: every inch of ceiling space is festooned with flags, streamers, balloons, and dangly glittering things. It's a riot of color, hovering just the right side of the good taste/bad taste line - just!
Over the bar is a large banner with lettering in the latest nano-paint, which changes color every few minutes, saying "Congratulations, class of '05".
The waitdroids are dressed in the traditional academic caps and gowns, to honor this year's graduating students. They are handing out free drinks to anyone who buys a round, courtesy of Diesel's generosity.
The Arcturian is banging out traditional school songs on his electric piano, the lyrics of which sing the praises of the various academic institutions throughout the Solar System. He occasionally varies the tone with Alice Cooper's classic School's Out, and songs from the movie The Graduate.
A large spiral staircase leads through a trapdoor onto the roof of the bar.
Ready to PARTY! Ferreri is here. Ferreri is wearing some medallions and is carrying a keyring.
Wearing her graduation cap, Regina is here. Regina is carrying a keyring.
pestering catspaws Squeeky is here.
The most tip-top Top Cat, Fancy - Fancy is here. Fancy is carrying a keyring. Fancy is wearing a wedding ring.
Furgas is here. Furgas is wearing a medallion and is carrying a keyring.
Moving with a grace most women envy and all men drool over, Bamababe is here.
Dunavant is here. Dunavant is carrying a keyring.
Congrats Grads! You hear shouted as Vlad is here. Vlad is wearing some medallions and is carrying a keyring. Vlad is wearing a wedding ring.
Easily distracted by shinny things, Rip is here. Rip is carrying a keyring.
You can see Diesel, the craftsman, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper, a party popper and a party popper.
Vlad says, "the floor is littered!...rofl"
Vlad has picked up a party popper
Jessecka has picked up a party popper
Regina has picked up a party popper
Rip has picked up a party popper
Bamababe has picked up a party popper
Vlad fires off a party popper. With a loud **BANG** it explodes, releasing colored streamers which zoom around the room under their own power. Silver glitter, shaken from the streamers, twinkles as it drifts slowly downwards.
Bamababe fires off a party popper. With a loud **BANG** it explodes, releasing colored streamers which zoom around the room under their own power. Silver glitter, shaken from the streamers, twinkles as it drifts slowly downwards.
Fancy fires off a party popper. With a loud **BANG** it explodes, releasing colored streamers which zoom around the room under their own power. Silver glitter, shaken from the streamers, twinkles as it drifts slowly downwards.
Vlad fires off a party popper. With a loud **BANG** it explodes, releasing colored streamers which zoom around the room under their own power. Silver glitter, shaken from the streamers, twinkles as it drifts slowly downwards.
Vlad says, "ouch"
Vlad says, "my hands hurt now"
The Poppers were a great way to get a wonderful party started and showed us that most Fedders CAN be easily amused. After awhile though, I think the free drinks might have gotten to a few people...
Bourbon asks, "why ain't anyone dancing?????"
Ferreri watches Bourbon dance to Footloose
Bourbon grabs ferreri to the floor
Bourbon smiles, "go girl :)"
Ferreri shakes her hips as she grabs Bourbon's hand
Bourbon grabs Fancy and Merrie,, come on folks, this Is a party
Fancy goes out onto the floor and moves.
Bourbon says, "there, now this is starting to get good"
Merrie hops off her barstool and dances with Fancy
Dunavant steps out onto the dance floor and does the hokey pokey
Ferreri pulls on Bourbon's hand
Dunavant shakes it all about
Merrie sways back and forward with Fancy
Ferreri swings her hips while holding bourbons hand
Ferreri spins around and dips as low as her heels allow
Furgas sits back and watches the dancers
Merrie smiles, "thank you for the dance, Fancy :)"
Fancy smiles and nods.
Thanks to everyone who showed up and helped to celebrate all our Grads. Thanks also to our illustrious Fed Crew, who took the time to decorate CDs up right for the event. And lastly, thanks to all those poor, poor waitdroids who had to clean up after us!
FROM THE SOCIETY NEWS DESK: A READER FUMES
by Lady Lulu 'Buffie' Capturfilingham
Angry Reader
Hello again Dahhhhhhlings! Among all the e-mails I received this week, yours truly received a rather troubling letter from a Fedizen. I decided to respond to this missive in my column this week.
Dear Buffie,
Why should I care about the latest feud in Fed 2? Why should I care about who was wearing what at the latest party? I have more important things going on in my life, like how am I going to get enough TCs to advance? Grow up! Get a real job! No-one cares!
Signed, Stuck Up in Cargon City
Dear SUICC,
My my my. Such anger over my simple little column. Just consider me your fluff for the day. I certainly do not mind. My job is to entertain you. Plain and simple. Don't take me too seriously, dearie. Certainly no one else does, especially my Editor. I could tell you stories about that slave driver. O0o0o0, now look what you did. Do you think I like to tattle on people and their private lives? No, but someone has to do it. I certainly don't do it for altruistic reasons. And, the salary I receive for this does not equal the effort of assembling and writing the article. So, why do I do it? Why do I put up with the abuse? A very good question.
What did I do to fill you with such anger for me? All I have done is deliver an entertaining column every two weeks for your enjoyment. To bring a bit of joy to your obviously pitiful life, and this is the thanks I get? This vitriolic, spiteful and hateful diatribe? I think you are the one that needs to grow up, Stuck Up. And, if I thought hauling jobs for TCs was a real job, I would have done it a long time ago! No thank you!
Signed, Buffie
There. I think I put Stuck Up in her place. Well, that is all of my allotted space for this week. Do write to me! I do so love to get mail. Ta ta for now, Dahhhhhhlings!
INNER WORKINGS: CHANGED JOB DESCRIPTION
by RTG1728
I regret to inform you, my faithful readers, that this will be the last Inner Workings column that will grace the electronic pages of the Fed II Star. That's right; your humble narrator will no longer be telling exotic stories about the goings-on at the Star offices. This, dear friends, is the end of the wild conspiracy theories.
What, may you ask, is the reason for the sudden termination of my spectacularly popular column? Fortunately, I am not being decommissioned. Instead The Editor has seen fit to allow me out of the office from time to time.
Now, rather than being chained to my desk, only able to write about what I see happening in the office, I will be out in the Solar System reviewing restaurants! That's right - I've been given a field assignment!
In the coming weeks we will begin an entirely new series of misadventures and incoherent babbling. Will I suffer from food-poisoning? Will angry restauranteurs plot against me?
Make sure to look for my first review two weeks from now, in the - well, I haven't decided what to call the column yet - but read anyway and join me in my latest escapades.
FROM THE SOCIETY NEWS DESK: MAY DAY
by Lady Lulu 'Buffie' Capturfilingham
Summer Season!
Hello again Dahhhhhhlings! As I write this article, my mind is buzzing about summer. As you probably already know, the summer season has already begun. If you are new to the galaxy, please let me elaborate. This week is the unofficial start of the summer season with the galaxy wide annual May Day celebration!
The history of the May Day celebration traces its roots to ancient Earth. In the northern hemisphere - May was the month that the temperatures turned warm. It became the first holiday of the summer, replacing Memorial Day as the start of the season. The reasons were varied, but basically, the Earthlings were impatient and wanted to start the season at the beginning of the month rather than the end of the month.
With the rise of the Galactic Administration, the bureaucrats decided that a holiday was needed to celebrate their bureaucracy. They then transformed the May Day holiday into a celebration of the GA. This was preferable to creating a new holiday, as that would be another day that the workers would be paid for not working, or so it has been said.
The May Day celebration is a high society affair. While the ordinary citizens revel in the endless parades of typewriters and stenograph machines, the rich fancy themselves with lavish parties and gala affairs. New gowns and outfits are the order of the day. To summarize the events would not do them justice in the space allotted, so I will part with you in this article with a promise to regale you in my next article on the festivities.
On a personal note to my gentle readers, I wholeheartedly apologize for the vitriolic diatribe in my last article. Summer is now here and all is right with yours truly. Ta ta for now, Dahhhhhhlings!
RAINBOW COLORED COMMS
by Jessecka
We had loads of excitment on Friday in Fed II, with yours truly promoting to industrialist. The Comms were very active most of the day, with many returning players from the good old days finding their way back to the game and discovering lost friends, and memories. The most interesting conversation though, was brought about by one of the Lounge's own, Desertwolf.
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Desertwolf, "Hazed.. Will there be any programs for Fed II to assist in planet design?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "No, we are going to make you write out your planet details with crayon on the back of an old envelope and send it to use by snail mail"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "yeah"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "lol"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nicholas, "Oh goody. Can I have the blue one?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Desertwolf, "I get the green crayon!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "I call the red one!!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "You can use whatever color crayon you like except for green, which is reserved for Bella"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "darn i wanted a pen"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Desertwolf, "Darn"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nicholas, "I always figured Bella was a green crayoner."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "You figured right"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "i get the Blue one"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nicholas, "No - I called the blue one first!!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "i call the black one"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Desertwolf, "Okay.. I guess I'll take the voilet one"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Children, no need to bicker, you can share colors"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Ryuken, "i'll grab the orange one"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nicholas, "The Demi-Goddess said I could use the blue one!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "but then how would you know whos planet it is excpet by the color?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "I always thought you for a pink kinda person DW ;)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Because you will sign it with your name"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "i am NOT getting stuck with pink"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Desertwolf, "hehehe.. Dj gets pink!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "ok, i'll take the camouflage colored one"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "i knew he would say that"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "It's a good job the crayon box is very big"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "what else do you expect a army guy to use"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "so i guess the command to become a founder will be buy <planet name><crayon color>"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka. "London gets Pink!!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from London, "pink??????"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "the quest to find the right color"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nicholas, "No...buy <planet name><crayon color><signature><appropriate galactic administration crayon color authorization form confirmation code>"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "That will be something like it, Nicholas"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "you forgot the crayon permit"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Ryuken, "which will cost 2 slithies"
So, be on the look out for that upcoming crayon permit, and be thinking about what color you want to be. And most of all, have fun!
Coloring the comms with fun, Jessecka has left.
FED II EATERY REVIEW: THE DUFF MODEM
by RTG1728
This week sees the first publication of this newsdroid's new column: the Fed II Eatery Review. That's right – your humble narrator has landed itself a cushy job as a restaurant and pub reviewer, despite the fact that it has neither taste buds nor the equivalent.
This new assignment allows for frequent escapes from the Fed II Star offices, and the much documented escapades which occur there. Our readers may find these tales in my previous column, Inner Workings. Needless to say I am enjoying my much needed respite.
After much bribery I was persuaded by the proprietors of the Duff Modem Pub to grant them the dubious honor of being the first pub reviewed for this column.
The Duff Modem may be found on Mars, and is just a short hop away from the Social Center of the Solar System. Upon entering this fine establishment one first notices the elegant décor. The walls are colored by the dark stains of tobacco, which were no doubt produced by the finest cigars.
Furthermore, the floor seems to have been grown at great cost; it is covered in only the most brilliantly colored bacteria and fungi. One is almost hesitant to walk upon such beautiful flooring.
A sign over the bar suggested that I try their Modem of Real Ale. I was intrigued as to how the presumably liquid ale could be served in a device that converts signals produced by one type of device to a form compatible with another, and so I followed this suggestion. I recommend that anyone who wishes to see how this is done order one hirself.
Though I can't explain the process of the Modem, I can vouch for the quality of the Real Ale served therein. Or I could if I were able to taste it. Not having any sense of taste, however, I can only state that the Ale didn't damage my circuitry in any way. This seems a reasonable criterion.
However, the patrons of the Duff Modem seemed to enjoy it immensely. They seemed respectable people, and I'm quite sure their judgment may be trusted.
So see the Duff Modem for yourself, and try their Modem of Real Ale!
NEW INDUSTRIALIST IGNORES HERSELF, IS EVEN MORE LOST
by Jessecka
Chatting in the lounge one day, shortly after making the rank of Indy, the issue of ignoring players was brought up. As always, my mind began to wander, and I decided to find out what would happen if I ignored myself. It was fun, for the first few minutes, before I realized that I didn't know how to turn it off.
> ignore jessecka
Jessecka has been added to your ignore list.
> act laughs!!!!
> say I can ignore myself!
You exclaim, "I can ignore myself!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "oh fun, I have just ignored myself!!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "now how do I turn it off??"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "What is the effect of ignoring yourself?"
> tb jessecka oh poo
There is a brief hum from your comm unit.
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "now I can't TB myself!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Is that something you do often?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "yes, it's fun"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "It's good when you're lonely"
> hug jessecka
> kiss jessecka
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "and I can't hug and tickle myself!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Aqueous, "sometimes I would like to do that .lol"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Paul, "try unblocking yourself"
> unblock jessecka
Jessecka has been removed from your ignore list.
A big thank you and a hug to Paul for rescuing me, and helping me un-ignore myself. Unfortunately, the conversation about my act of stupidity continued over the comms.
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Answer me this... just what possessed you to try ignoring yourself?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Regina, "Were you mad at yourself?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Paul, "maybe you were just annoying yourself?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "don't know, was just discussing how you can't ignore staff, and just wondered if you could ignore yourself"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "I've never used the ignore command, so was wondering what would happen"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Well now you know."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "yes, it was fun, for the first few mins"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "not being able to tickle yourself, though, is a bit un-nerving"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Regina, "I didn't know you could tickle yourself :)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "I can't tickle myself. Well, I can in a way, but it doesn't tickle."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "In Fed you can"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "try it, it's fun!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Just one more of the things you can't do in real life"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Another reason to love Fed."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Regina, "I tried it, and I gave myself an agreeable tickle :)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Jess and her self love campaign. I just don't know."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "awwwwww, how can anyone love me if I don't first love myself?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "and besides, at least I'm fun to be around, all this hugging and tickling myself ;)"
A MIX UP IN THE HOSPITAL
It has come to my attention that one of us in Fed II is not at all what she seems. A careless act while lost in the hospital years ago changed her whole outlook on life, in a way unimaginable by most of us. Here is her story. All names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.
He started out a simple Commander, like so many of us. Long before the days of auto-mapping, back in the dark ages of Classic Fed, he was mapping Earth one day, when he became turned around in the Bottle Neck, and found himself in the hospital. Wandering around the empty, echoing halls, he spied a machine that promised to turn his life around. Somewhat innocently, he approached it, and being new to Federation DataSpace, didn't fully understand the ramifications of a Sex Change Machine. A few moments later, and plenty of groats in the hole, he discovered he was not as he used to be. He was now a SHE!
She couldn't believe her mistake! As she examined her new body frantically, she began to read the machine closer, coming to realize the change that had come over her. Checking her pocket, she found she didn't have enough groats to change herself back to a He. What to do? The only thing she could do was to begin hauling, praying that no one would notice her until she could make enough groats to fix the situation. The thing about hauling was, she just couldn't make the money fast enough. Ashamed to go to anyone to ask for a loan, knowing that she would have to explain the need, she struggled alone, saving her groats one by one.
A funny thing began to happen. As she hauled, and saved, she began to feel more comfortable in her new body. The longer she stayed female, the more she thought about not going back to the world of male. She started going out to the bars, buying rounds for newbies, and showing off her beautiful body to her many admirers. She was turning fully female a little at a time.
By the time she had saved enough groats to change herself back to a He, she had come to find that she rather enjoyed being female, as we all know women have more fun. Not only that, but everyone knew her as a female, and would be very confused if she changed back now. And lastly, if she changed, none of her clothes would fit anymore! Not to mention the shoes! So, the only real choice was to stay a She. And She did. She is now happily frolicking across the galaxy, in the body she now knows she was truly born to be. So, if you ever find yourself lost in the hospital, and you run across a machine that promises to change your life, think about it - it might really change your life for the better.
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