THE MONTH IN BRIEF
Summertime... and the living is easy... not much new stuff was added to the game in July because Bella's computer blew up, which rather cut down on her ability to work! Rumors that she deliberately manufactured the hardware failure so she could spend her time sunbathing are completely untrue.
Still, once she got her new machine set up to her liking, she did provide us with some new features. CEOs looking at their company accounts suddenly found they only got to see the current cycle's details, rather than the five cycles which had been introduced in June. The reason for the change is that it's only Financiers who need to see historical data, which they could now do with 'DI ACCOUNTS companyname' or 'DI ACCOUNTS playername'. The test team were pretending to be Financiers in order to try out this new stuff...
The amount of groats that bankrupt Manufacturers were left with when they reverted to Industrialists was increased, to make it easier for them to claw their way back up the greasy pole.
Dilapidated factories and depots started to collapse, and in the first week that this new code was in, there were 23 collapses, showing just how lax the owners had been in maintaining these shoddy buildings. Never has so much accidental damage been done in so short a space of time.
A variant of the 'WHO' command was added to let you get a list of all those in the game at a specific rank - 'WHO RANK'.
The test team started to jump up and down on the new code for Financiers that Bella was working on, looking for bugs and checking out how it all worked.
The mini-zoo on Earth put bags of food on sale so you could feed the inhabitants, as well as pet them and in some cases, pick them up and cuddle them. Awwww!
And speaking of food, the bars in the Solar System started to eschew their customary pizza and offer special food for sale. We can particularly recommend the gorgeous seafood in Godot's Snacks on Earth. It's a real experience!
Diesel threw one of her famous parties, this time for Independence Day on July 4, complete with fireworks that players could fire off from the roof garden, and a barbecue offering a range of treats, including yummy marsrat kebabs. And free drinks, of course!
The Paradise shopping mall opened for business near Venus.
We started to publish the QuickStart Guide in foreign languages, to help those for whom English is not their first languages. We also provided printable versions of the Sol maps - black on white, rather than white on black, not so elegant but more practical.
The Encyclopedia Galactica published a new article about the asteroid belt, giving information about its physical origin and the history of human exploitation, as well as an explanation of the current political realities that cause the Galactic Administration not to attempt to rule there.
THE BLIGHT OF COLLAPSING BUILDINGS
As promised, the long-awaited code to make unrepaired factories and depots collapse was put into the game last Monday. Nobody thought much of it; they carried on as usual during that day, until the reset rolled around next morning...
Then a look at the SpyNet Review gave a hint that all was not well. Only one factory collapsed on that first day - Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch's factory #1 on The Lattice - but it sent a shiver of apprehension through CEOs everywhere. Breaths were held as we awaited the next reset.
And then breaths were let out again, in a huge collective sigh of relief, as no factories or depots fell apart on Wednesday morning. Maybe, we all thought, it's not going to be all that bad. So we forgot our fears and carried on with our work.
And then the Thursday morning reset rolled around, and when the game came back, the SpyNet Review showed heaps of rubble all over the Solar System. Factories had collapsed on Venus, Mars, Earth, Titan and The Lattice. In all, 8 buildings collapsed on that day. And so it continued: another 8 fell down on Friday, and 6 on Saturday. A total, at the time of writing, of 23 collapses, mostly of factories but some depots as well. Never has so much accidental damage been done in so short a space of time.
Citizens on all planets are alarmed at the way factories and depots have suddenly started falling down with no warning, and have taken to avoiding the warehouse and industrial areas on their worlds for fear of being hit by flying rubble. There are demands that the Galactic Administration "Do Something" to stop these hazardous collapses. However, a GA spokesdroid stated that it was not their job to intervene in matters of private property, and that they couldn't force CEOs to maintain their buildings properly, so citizens should use their common sense to stay away from buildings that look neglected.
A spokeswoman for the charitable organization, the Galactic Entity's Association for the Relief of Distress, Homelessness and Poverty, denounced the heartless money-grubbing corporations and their lackeys in the GA, and warned that "These collapses are the natural consequences of absentee landlords." She went on to demand that all empty properties should be seized by the government, forcibly repaired at the expense of the CEOs, and then used to house the homeless.
A medic-droid from the GMA (Galactic Medical Association) also expressed concern about the health risks to those living in the vicinity of collapsing buildings. "A lot of dust gets thrown into the air whenever one of these factories falls down," it said. "As well as causing asthma and other breathing disorders, there is concern that toxic particulates are also being released into the air which could cause long-term health problems for those exposed to them."
For now, the Star can only urge CEOs to stop neglecting their buildings, and everyone else to just stay away from any factory or depot that looks a bit rickety!
THE STAR CHAMBER: FAMOUS LAST WORDS
by Freya
Rather than discuss some serious aspect of Game Management with you on a long summer holiday weekend, I thought you'd enjoy the following classic collection of famous last words. I'd be delighted if Fed II players would send me their own "Famous Last Words". In fact, I'd be so delighted that I'll select my favorite from the submissions and award a prize of a slithy! So read on, have a laugh, and then send in your own to feedback@ibgames.com. If you put "Fed2 last words" in the subject line, it will even go directly to my work folder instead of risking being lost in the dark maw of my mail program.
Famous Last Words
1. I never get lost.
2. Let me handle this.
3. I wonder what this button does?
4. Let's go in.
5. I've done this before in Classic Fed.
6. Hmmm...the sign on the door says, "RADIOACTIVE". I wonder what's inside.
7. I remember the way...
8. Don't worry. I know what I'm doing!
9. No problem. That's easy!
10. Here kitty, kitty, kitty...
11. DO NOT OPEN.
12. I really didn't know it was against the Rules.
Contest Winners
The winner ofthe Famous Fed II Last Words contest was Frazzle with, "Hey ya'll, watch this!" Well done, Frazzle and a slithy is winging its way to you.
Honorable mentions to the following entries:
Squeeky: "Sun baaad"
Secretagent: "How far south is it to the ATM?"
Monodefuego (on trying to make sense of the Martian ruins and standing at their altar, carefully reading the room description): "I get it! The Martians moved underground!"
Cragon (as said by a groundhog): "What does grope mean?"
THE STAR CHAMBER: DUMB QUESTIONS
by Freya
It's frustrating to get asked the same dumb questions over and over again. I could continue to gripe about this, but I've decided to try education.
First let's try to be sure that we're all on the same page with this. I'm calling questions dumb when they offer no entry into substantive dialogue, when they ask me to do the thinking for you, when they don't reflect a real issue to which you would appreciate an answer. In other words, dumb questions, for me, are questions that don't contribute towards meaningful communication.
Here's my guide to dumb questions you should never ask. It contains the dumbest questions players ask and my smart-alecky answers. When you get the urge to ask me a question, please look here first to see if your question is listed. If it is, read my insulting reply and tell your friends what a rude person I am.
1. Do you remember me from X-years ago?
Umm probably not. There were tens of thousands of players during Fed's run on AOL and Classic Fed over the years. Do you really think I can remember them all? I'm flattered but no, I don't. If you played GEnie Fed, I probably do know you fairly well because it was such a small group and I'm still in touch with you outside the game so this question becomes irrelevant. I do tend to remember the major snerts and troublemakers, so perhaps you don't really want to remind me who you were.
2. How are you?
Do you really want to know? Or is this a time wasting opener to a real question? If you have a real question, just ask; I like real questions.
3. What's up?
The ceiling. C'mon, what's the point? If I'm sitting all alone and silent, the answer obviously is "nothing". If I'm chatting with a group of people, just listen and figure it out for yourself.
4. Can I ask you a question?
Can i give you an answer? Yes, obviously. You just did. And what is worse, you did it in a tightbeam to create extra work for me. Get to the point, just ask the real question.
5. Will you come to my wedding, drinking party, orgy, slave auction?
No.
6. Will you tell me some secret development work Bella is doing that hasn't been announced to players yet? Can you tell me what Bella plans for some advanced rank that hasn't been designed yet?
No. Sorry, I'm not a psychic. If I could predict the future, why would I waste my time on what Bella plans to do with Fed II? Hell, I'd be putting down a stack of cash on the 3rd race at Belmont.
7. Are you really a DemiGoddess? Can I be a DemiGoddess, too? How did you get to be a DemiGoddess?
Yes. No. I dunno, it happened when I was abducted by aliens.
8. What do you do?
I hate this question. I don't know if you want to know what I do for a living, what I do for fun, or what I do in the sack.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
We received the following letter following publication of last week's Fed II Star:
I enjoyed Freya's Star Chamber in this week's Star, but I must point out that the proper response to:
'Can I ask you a question?'
is simply:
'Yes, but only one. And you've just used it. Good day.'
Yours,
Manufacturer Gandolf
Thank you, Gandolf. We assume you must have been in a particularly grumpy mood when making this suggestion, because we have normally found you to be an extremely nice person!
THE STAR CHAMBER: POWERGAMING
by Freya
In a community like Fed II, powergaming is when a player presumes or declares that his or her own action against another player is successful without giving the other player the freedom to act on his own prerogative. This may include, but is not limited to:
- Declaring another character's actions for himself, without that player's permission.
- Stating what happened to another player character without the player's consent.
- Presuming that your action involving another character was successful without giving the character the chance to dodge or react otherwise.
- Imposing emotional reactions on other characters and 'thoughtposing,' or posing your thoughts of a given character, thus giving that character no chance to react.
- Or, declaring that all actions taken against your character have no effect.
A simple example of powergaming: Player A punches Player B in the face, knocking him senseless.
Or: Player A grabs Player B and kisses her deeply until she swoons with delight.
Powergaming in this sense is regarded as bad style at best, or abusive at worst.
I couldn't give less of a damn what people want to role play in the privacy of their own locations. Role play it. Hey, go for it. If that's what suits your character, who am I to criticize? As long as it doesn't affect anyone else, sure. But at the moment that it affects someone else, it's no longer just your storyline. It's no longer fair to other people. Not just the person targeted but the bystanders whether in a location or on the comms. They didn't consent.
And consent is what Fed II is all about folx.
REAL LIFE NEWS: ZOMBIE DOGS LIVE AGAIN
Journalists and newsdroids alike are all delighted at this story: after all, how often do they get to use the words "zombie dogs" in a headline? The news is from the Center for Reanimation Studies, where scientists have successfully raised dogs from the dead after several hours of "clinical death". The technique involves draining the mutts' blood and replacing it with a saline solution a couple of degrees above zero. The body temperature drops to around 7 degrees C, which stops the breathing, heart and brain activity and renders the subject officially dead.
To reanimate the canine zombies, the blood was then put back into the body while 100 per cent oxygen and electric shocks to the heart were administered. The mutt is apparently none the worse for its prolonged near-death experience.
In case you are wondering just what the point of all this is, there is some legitimate science behind it all. The scientists think this technique could be used to temporarily suspend battlefield casualties or accident victims, during which surgeons could repair the damage before waking up the almost-corpse again. They plan to reanimate a human subject within a year. I have to wonder just who will volunteer for this treatmen.
Let's hope this isn't part of a plan to form an army of zombies to take over the world!
REAL LIFE NEWS: DIVORCING COUPLE FIGHT OVER GAME CHARACTERS
Players who meet in online games sometimes fall in love, and get married in real life. Awww, how romantic. But the course of true love doesn't always run smooth, and just because they get on really well in the virtual world of the game, it doesn't mean they are compatible when they try to live in the same house together, so divorce sometimes follows. Awww, how sad.
Now, divorce is an unpleasant thing in any circumstances, but when online things get involved it can get really nasty. Take the case of Mr Wang from Chongqing, and Ms Ye from Huibei. They met last September on an online game called Legend of Mir 2, when Wang saved Ye's character from being killed by another player. They married at the end of October, but things didn't turn out well and by June of this year they had decided to divorce.
Then they commenced the messy business of divvying up their belongings, and that's when things got really nasty. During their marriage, the couple jointly played over ten Mir 2 accounts, getting them up to high status levels. The characters and virtual items are estimated to be worth 40,000 to 50,000 Yuan - and the ex-couple are fighting over custody. Wang said that he wants to keep all the accounts and virtual items, and is willing to give their joint apartment to Ye in exchange. However, Ye wants to split the apartment and the game items equally. Shame they didn't have a pre-nuptial agreement settling this kind of thing in advance.
In a fight like this, my guess is that the only winners are going to be the lawyers!
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