Web Fed News Yearbooks - April 2000

THE MONTH IN BRIEF

Sad news in April. A long-standing player, Zargot, died in real life. He will be sadly missed.

Towards the end of the month, a new rule was introduced into Fed giving Dukes the power to ban players from their duchies. This caused quite a furore, with some players resenting the idea that they didn't have total freedom to go where they wished.

The April Fool's Day planet was opened and the foolish puzzle was solved by Pintomike, who wound his way through several mazes that included hedges and mines, dragon lairs, and dangers, to be granted the hand of the planet's princess in marriage.

Easter came and went, and the bunny distributed his eggs around the Galaxy. Pintomike proved most successful at the various egg-hunting events.

A new rule was introduced for events which stated that anyone cheating would be disqualified for the remainder of the season.

Pajamian wrote a handy program to convert a Workbench listing into a Genesis file. You can download the program from http://www.pajamian.dhs.org/fed.

The Empress Catty was crowned... but things didn't go as expected! The royal personage was abducted during the coronation ceremony and hidden away by pirates. Only after extensive searching was she found, shaken but otherwise unhurt.

Alan wrote two new articles for his web site, on computer security and on the digital divide. Read them at http://www.ibgames.net/alan/society/security.html and http://www.ibgames.net/alan/society/havenots.html.

ROLE-PLAYING THE BAD GUY

One of the things I've heard a lot over the past week, is that "Fed needs its bad guys" and that people should be allowed to role-play being evil.

That may be true, but there are limits, and an awareness of what those limits are seems to have got lost in all the arguing about dumping, Dukes' rights, and so on.

It takes two to role-play. In order for someone to role-play a bad guy, you need someone to be the good guy - or at least, another bad guy with a different agenda. If there is someone willing to take up that role then everyone has a great time and a lot of entertainment is generated. However, it requires someone to be WILLING to be the good guy. And not everyone wants to spend all of their time fighting the good fight.

People come into Fed for many different reasons. It's a game, it's an economic simulation, it's a social universe, it's a great place to hold a party... many people have different reasons at different times. Sometimes, a particular player might really enjoy the challenge of setting up their exchange to make the most money, or defend against "dumpers". Sometimes, they may enjoy the witty spark of a war of words on the comm channels. But sometimes, they just want to relax, hang out with their friends.

Fed is not a game that is primarily about conflict. The fact that ship fighting plays such a small part in the structure of the game makes that quite obvious. Some people, however, like conflict so have found ways other than fighting to bring conflict into the game. But imposing conflict onto other players whether they want it or not is against the spirit of the game community. It takes away the player's choice about what they want to do in Fed today. If a player just wants to chat to friends, but instead is forced to fight against an attack of any kind - economic, social or whatever - he or she is not going to enjoy his or her time in Fed.

If you want conflict, find someone willing to be your opponent. If you want to role-play being bad, direct your badness against someone who find it amusing.

Otherwise, it stops being role-playing, and becomes nothing more than bullying.

FROM THE POSTBAG: HORSELLIAN PIZZA AND MISPLACED DROIDS

Flushed with the triumph of dealing with the persistent questioner of the past few weeks, I turned to the postbag, hoping to find some more sensible letters, asking questions that concerned more than just the trivial, questions worthy of my demi-divine time.

Fat chance! The first letter I pulled out of the bag contained more of the same. Obviously I am fated to deal with these matters which ought to be beneath my notice.

The letter said:

"I visited Horsell and was shocked when I ordered something to eat for my friends and myself. Not only was a pizza delivered - surely an anachronism - but it was spun onto the table by the familiar waitdroid. Did they have waitdroids in 1904?"

Groan. Oh well. Let's look at the two separate parts of the question. First, the existence of pizza in the Horsellian era.

Depending on who you talk to, pizzas were invented either in the 1700s, by the Sicilians, or in 1889, in Naples.

The Naples faction claims there is only one pizza, and that is the Margherita, first made and named in honour of Queen Margherita of Savoy, the wife of King Umberto I, when she visited Naples.

The Sicilians say that something similar can be traced back to medieval times, and the pizza was definitely being talked about by the 1700s, when it was unknown in Naples.

Acting as peacemaker (rather than pizzamaker), the president of the Italian pizza makers' association says that the Egyptians probably made the first pizza base, because they discovered natural yeast.

So, let's not get involved in disputes between Italian gentlemen - we get enough of that kind of trouble on the Moon - and agree that whoever is right, by 1904 pizza was definitely available, and it's even feasible you could have purchased one in England.

For the second part of the question - the unexpected appearance of the waitdroid - you'll have to wait till next week!

FROM THE POSTBAG: ANACHRONISTIC WAITDROID

If you read last week's news you will remember that the existence of a waitdroid to serve pizza in the pub in the timewarp village of Horsell was questioned:

"Did they have waitdroids in 1904?"

asked my favorite correspondent.

Well no, obviously not. Droids as we know them today were not invented until the middle of the 21st century, and even then they were unreliable and prone to breaking down. It wasn't until 2143 that droids became a common sight in Fed DataSpace, when they started to be mass produced and sold with a range of pre-programmed options which allowed them to function in all kinds of capacities.

Earlier attempts to manufacture droids for consumer purposes were disastrous, and although the facts have been suppressed for fear of starting a panic about safety, rumors about the hairdroid which didn't just cut off the hair, but the whole head, and the cleaning droid which sucked up small children with its vacuum appliances, do still surface from time to time.

But I digress.

Given that droids of any kind were completely unknown in 1904, how does a waitdroid come to be working in the pub? The answer should be obvious to anyone who gives it a bit of thought.

It was timewarped there.

The droid, which used to be found pouring drinks and fixing pizzas in Chez Diesel, got caught up in a Baron's visit to Horsell. But for some unknown reason, when the timefield collapsed and the Baron and his chums found themselves back on Earth in the present, the waitdroid was left behind.

Diesel was not at all happy to lose the services of the droid she had paid good groats for, and she claimed on her insurance policy for the cost of a replacement. The insurance company attempted to retrieve the lost droid, considering this a cheaper option than paying for Diesel to get a new one. They used their own time machine to return to 1904, intending to bring it back to our time. But the droid decided not to cooperate. It said it wanted to stay in Horsell, because it was fed up with being rushed off its feet in Chez Diesel, and preferred the quieter bucolic life in the small English village. It evaded all attempts to capture it, finally retreating into a tunnel someone had conveniently dug in a nearby cellar. At this point the insurance company decided to cut their losses. They gave up, paid Diesel the cost of replacing the droid, and left the wayward machine to its own devices.

And there it stays, happily churning out pizzas and exotic drinks for the locals and for time-travelling visitors.

MAY DAY, MAY DAY

In a stunning concession to the call for Open Government, Mayor Arrogant of Mars today begins his weekly disclosure statement and social announcements. From his nightly surgery at CDs, Mayor Arrogant and the Greater Martian Council (the GMC) announced that they would hold an Official May Day celebration at CDs on Monday night. The GMC will also sponsor a May Day Concert of light music by Tuba Soloist and Council member, Olias. Donations will be accepted for the Martian Public Transport Charities and Widows and Orphans Fund.

The May Day party will be officially opened at 7.00pm eastern on Monday. Highlights of the celebrations are a slide show of the Deforestation of the Martian Rain Forests, Tuba solo by Olias and the annual distribution of pointy sticks to the children.

Reporting on Mayoral events of Sunday night, Mayor Angelique of the Moon paid a state visit on Mayor Arrogant of Mars and the GMC. In a joint white paper they called for a study of the Venus Underground shuttle. The GMC denied all rumors about privatization of the shuttle. Mayor Arrogant stated this was merely a misunderstanding of the GMC's philosophy of the Fourth Way. In a private interview the Mayor denied bids were being taken or that they planned a bit of insider investment.

"I was hoping to invest in that," says Angelique. "I need to get involved with the people. The Venusians are keeping info from me."

The Investment Firm of Snatchit, Prat & Anorak denied they have been selected by a Mayoral committee to handle the Transport financing. This was confirmed by Mayor Arrogant and his Greater Martian Council.

In a private moment with our Newsdroid, Bartholomew, Mayor Arrogant denied rumors that he recently bought a penthouse on Mars paid for by cash bribes from a band of pirates. He stated that he had received a loan from a private source, a friend in the liquor shipping business. The interview was brought to an abrupt close by workmen attempting to find the whereabouts of the rumored trap door in the ceiling of CDs that leads to the Martian Ruins. The Trap door was known to have once existed but was permanently sealed on orders of the GMC as a matter of Public Safety.

Songwriters are encouraged to submit suggestions and sample lyrics for an Official GMC Song.

Remember: May Day party at CDs. Monday May 1, 7.00pm eastern. All are welcome.

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