OFFICIAL NEWS

FED FUNNIES

INSIDE SCOOP

THE BUZZ I
TOP TEN REASONS WHY FED IMPROVED MY LIFE
WHERE IS THE MYSTERY NEWSDROID?
THE BUZZ II
THE CHOCOLATE THIEF
THE BUZZ III
THE BUZZ IV
TWELVE REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX!
ALSATIAN'S LOST PLANET REVIEW

THE BUZZ I
MysteryNewsDroid@Hotmail.com

What in the name of Hazed happened this week? All the stars in the multiverse blinked once, twice and then all went out at once. All power was gone for the better part of eight hours. After much investigation it was announced that the outage was caused by problems with the servers that power the multiverse (someone forgot to feed the gerbils), but being a conspiracy theorist, I knew there was more to the story. As it turns out, the private war between XSlaught, Racingnut, GWarrior and Cryptomaster quickly escalated after XSlaught paid a visit to Serenity this week. Upset at being called names and slapped numerous times, XSlaught plotted to ensure that Cryptomaster's exchange was indeed incapable of making groats. It's still not known how XSlaught found the energy source to turn off the stars, but after several shots and landing and repairing, she was finally successful. Rumor has it that a truce was signed right before power was restored.

Shockwaves hit today when Felina made the following announcement:

Your comm unit relays a message from Felina, "although you know despite my reputation I don't always spoil peoples fun;)"

And all this time, it was believed that her reputation was that she -was- the life of the party!! Confusion reigned for a brief time until it was revealed that Felina had, in fact, drank the Bunny's new potion concoction that would actually reverse her feelings and opinions on everything. Apparently Mashi is still determined to get that declaration of love!! The good news is that an antidote was soon found and order was quickly restored.

The incessant hammering has silenced and the green flickers of the heat rays are currently ceased. What could bring such a turn of events? No, it's not that the Galaxy has been saved, yet again, but a more sinister plot is afoot. It seems that the Martians and the inhabitants of Horsell have joined forces and brought forth a suit against some of our most prominent fedizens. According to the petition, the downs were dug up and several of the Martians are missing their bone-like tools. The most heated statement came from the vicar whose flowerbeds had been excavated and sermon notes chewed beyond recognition. Complaints also included "piles of debris obviously proving the visitors did not follow the 'pooper scooper' laws of Horsell that has kept our air clean and pollution free". The most significant damage was found on the barboards in Horsell where someone had scratched with a Arix knife on the pristine board "::hOwLs:: we wuz here!" The costs of the damages have not been specified, but The Wolfpack is being held for questioning.

Fashion took a severe blow this week when the Divine Diva Priscilla took off for whereabouts unknown. Without her fashion police, folks were seen wearing the most unfortunate frocks. Realizing that this was indeed affecting the aesthetics of the multiverse, Diesel decided that something had to be done immediately and decided to begin holding auditions to temporarily fill the Diva's pumps. If interested in filling this position, please leave a message on the barboards and Diesel and will contact you for your references and set up an audition.

Until next week, make DataSpace your playground. I'm always watching!

TOP TEN REASONS WHY FED IMPROVED MY LIFE
by Hazed, Inspired by Art and Gwarrior

Fed isn't just a game, you know. It's educational. It improves your life in many ways. Here's ten of them:

WHERE IS THE MYSTERY NEWSDROID?
MysteryNewsDroid@Hotmail.com

MysteryNewsDroid is missing. No ransom notes, no signs of any foul play, nothing. MND has just disappeared.

When MND failed to turn in an article this week, Hazed sent some minions out to find the droid, but they came back with a report that no clothes were missing and the only sign of struggle was a bow tie on the floor of the droid's otherwise immaculate digs and the smell of fish hanging in the air. Checking in the PDA, there was an appointment to meet with the Penguin Family with the note "Angry that they haven't made the news column yet! Guess it's time to appease the little beasts," written in MND's illegible scrawl.

A reward is offered for anyone with information on the whereabouts of MysteryNewsDroid.

THE BUZZ II
MysteryNewsDroid@Hotmail.com

I am happy to announce that other than being a bit rusty from all the ice and smelling like sardines, things are somewhat back to normal. Drinking a can of oil a day is getting a little hard on my system, but other than that my involuntary stay with the penguins was uneventful. Umm... I mean... Be sure and visit your favorite Penguin family member. Full of fun and not as formal as you'd think from their appearance, the Penguin family has lots of fun and fish to offer.

Okay, moving on to other stories!

Insomnius revealed a more feminine side this week when his answer to any of life's problems simply was "Red Shoes and carry a handbag!" The ever helpful Duchess Zyphr offered to analyze the Duke's fetish but was merely met with ::smirks:: and silence. Duke Dragonheart suggested that Insomnius' surly silence had something to do with a dispute over a blue dress, but further details were not made available.

Violence towards plants reared its ugly tentacles this week when the Multiverse's favorite swamp thing was threatened by Duke Netmndr with the war cry, "Cut off his leaves!" From what could be gathered, Hyacinthe had been eyeing Duchess Sallyanne and much to his chagrin, Duke Netmndr -WAS- paying attention. After flowering in frustration, Hyacinthe quickly reentered his vegetative state.

~*~ WANTED ~*~

Zyphr, Czarina and Baroness of Svaboda is now accepting applications for young nubile men who would like to replace the Stagehands of old. The Demi-Goddess Hazed has graciously agreed to conduct the interviews. Please bring head shots and be prepared to perform various duties as job responsibilities will vary.

~*~

Ming the Merciless reared his imperial head on Friday. When Freedomfighter announced that he was going on duty for another government, Ming decided to have the last word. After closing the star system, Ming shut down the planet and claimed it for his own.

Report for Liberty - Duchy of Aries
Development level: Agricultural
Overlord: Ming the Merciless
Status: Closed for business

Good journey Freedomfighter. May your new tour make you all you can be and thank you for the sacrifices you've made to fight for what you believe.

Are you missing workthingies? A sinister plot was recently uncovered in the duchy of Poem.

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Xiao, "at this rate Miss Lady Buny will need to add extra shift at the cookie factory"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Victoria, "LOL"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Bunytales, "::Checking her work thing-a-ma-bobbies::"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Xiao, "I can get some of Highlands for you"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Victoria, "LOL... I think he'd send an army after you if you did"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Insomnius, "rofl! You got the keys to the workthingy farm on Highland Xiao?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Xiao, "I had to borrow a few today. "It be ok as long as you return them without missing parts"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Insomnius, "I'd give you some of Poem's but they only know how to push papers and make red tape."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Victoria, "dont tie us up in red tape PLEASE!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Insomnius, "I'll try to keep them tangled up in it. ;)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Xiao, "or confuse them and only buy blue tape"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Insomnius, "They'd rebel if I did that!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Xiao, "no if I used the workthings from Poem they just make more red tape"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Insomnius, "could be contagious"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Xiao, "nods and dangerous. Just more things to trip over"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Bunytales, "I have a few spare work-thing-a-ma-bobbies, and they have great work ethic I'll loan 'em to you Lady Xiao"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Xiao, "oh good I return them in one piece"

Take my advice, check your workthingies for any damage or see if any are missing. If they are, fill out a complaint form and submit to the Bureau of Workthingy Theft and Abuse. They will replace any damaged, stolen or escaped workthingy at a rate of 1 to 1 ½. All complaints are reviewed in a timely bureaucratic manner if they are submitted in triplicate at their headquarters, hidden somewhere deep in the bowels of Sol.

Until next week, make DataSpace your playground. I'm always watching!

THE CHOCOLATE THIEF
by Felina

I asked for an audience with the demi-goddess this week when I found myself unjustly accused of being a chocolate thief. This really bothered me as I have had such an upstanding reputation up to this point. (Anything else you've heard is merely a rumor which has never been proven!)

It seems that Rasal has chocolate missing from Galilee. On the flimsy evidence that I had Galilee chocolate in my possession, had been seen in Galilee and he was in possession of a purported log showing me picking up chocolate he was accusing me of taking it! So I wanted to get advice from the Demi-Goddess. Once I explained the situation to her she was quite supportive:

"I have acquired the unearned title of chocolate thief when I was merely helping myself", Felina says.
"Ah, some people don't understand about chocolate, do they", says Hazed.
Hazed says, "But it depends whose chocolate it was that you were helping yourself to"
"If you helped yourself to MY chocolate I would definitely call you a thief", says Hazed.
"But if it was Galin's chocolate, I would merely see it as an equitable distribution", says Hazed.
Felina grins
"it was Rasals", Felina says with a wink.
Felina winks and says, "I figure he's a squire he should just want me to have it"
Hazed says, "Oh well, he should have just given it to you anyway"
Hazed says, "It would have been the polite thing to do"
Felina nods
"In fact, it was totally selfish of him not to want to share", says Hazed.
"I told him that", Felina says.
"it is selfish to hoard", Felina says.
Hazed grins
"and it's always appropriate, expected to share ones chocolate, and if he's to leave it lying around in my plain sight (yes I can see past those doors) then I have a right to it", Felina says with a wink.
"Well, he was practically offering it to you on a plate!", exclaims Hazed.
Felina exclaims, "exactly!"
"And now he has the cheek to be cross with you?", asks Hazed.
Felina nods
"Men!", exclaims Hazed.
Felina says, "calls me a thief"
Hazed says, "You tell him that you have the full support of the demi-goddess in this matter."
Felina winks and says, "well I thought he should know, but then I had to stop and remember that there I was having an expectation of a man.. what was I thinking?"
Felina grins
"I will tell him", Felina says with a wink.

I want to make clear though that although I am a lover of chocolate and although I do have some of Galilee's finest chocolate in my possession that does not mean that I took it. I admit to nothing. But even if it did happen to have occurred that I found myself on Galilee and happened to help myself to some chocolate that does not make me a thief! Rasal should be grateful that I enjoy his chocolate. He should offer it up to share... without being asked! Rasal has no right to accuse me of stealing his chocolate and if I did take some well then it's his fault that he had not brought it to me! I am not the guilty party!

THE BUZZ III
MysteryNewsDroid@Hotmail.com

Happiness enveloped the Multiverse today as yet another happy couple were joined in matrimony by the Duchess of Svaboda helped out by the Duke of Lithium and the Duchess of Glenlion.

Netmndr says, "Your wedding Mashi"
Zyphr nods
"Not likely, Heather", says Netmndr with a wink.
Zyphr says, "Okay... Net stand next to Mashi"
Mashimaro holds heather on his lap
"Sallyanne, next to Heather", Zyphr says.
Zyphr asks, "Heather do you or don't you?"
"I don't", says Netmndr.
Heatherjn looks for a place to hide!
Sallyanne hushes Net.
Netmndr Heatherjn says, "I do"
"Great!", Zyphr exclaims.
Sallyanne giggles.
Zyphr asks, "Mashi... do you or don't you?"
Netmndr Mashimaro says, "I do"
"Excellent!", Zyphr exclaims.
Sallyanne giggles.
"You are now married!", Zyphr says with a wink.
Greyspacewolf pounces on the group and knocks everyone down...except Heather
"Congrats! Your both done!", exclaims Netmndr.
Heatherjn giggles!
"It was a beautiful ceremony.", says Sallyanne with a wink.
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "I am happy to announce the fed wedding of Mashi and Heather!!"
Sallyanne Sniffles.
"ROFL!", shouts Netmndr.
"umm Heather hon", says Mashimaro.
Your comm unit relays a message from Netmndr, "All Hail Heather and Mashi!"
Sallyanne passes out tissues.
"what just happened?", asks Mashimaro.
Your comm unit relays a message from Sistertwo, "Oh another happy marriage.congrats. :)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "Emperor and Empress!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "HOWLS!!! Congrats Mashi and Heather!"
"I uh ... think we're married, dear.", says Heatherjn with a wink.
Mashimaro says, "umm okay"
Your comm unit relays a message from Dzrtdawg, "mazel tov...so, where are you registered?"
Heatherjn giggles more.
Your comm unit relays a message from Gergall, "Congratulations."
Mashimaro says, "well hell off to the honeymoon..night folks"
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "Congratulations to my sister and new brother in law!"
Heatherjn laughs.
Mashimaro grabs Heather
Mashimaro says, "i have a deer in headlights look going on"
Netmndr says, "No No Mashi, thats just the Married Man's expression"
Sallyanne celebrates!
"See?", asks Netmndr.
Netmndr shows

Being the ever resourceful NewsDroid, I knew that the Hostess with the Mostess might have a comment about the nuptials of Heatherjn and Mashimaro. I found Felina sitting in CD's and asked her to comment on the happy occasion. Felina tersely wished them the best but then vanished to her room and consoled herself with chocolate.

In other news this week, Rasal of Galilee has issued numerous complaints, which have so far gone unheard, about his hoards of chocolate disappearing. Despite the finger pointing, no inquires have been made.

212724:207 - Bunytales: I'm looking for an empty lap.......

What in the name of Ming is Bunytales up too??

Your comm unit relays a message from Bunytales, "::Winks at Mashimaro::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Heatherjn, ":::grins at Buny::: :)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Bunytales, "Heather we could have a wink-fest."
Your comm unit relays a message from Mashimaro, ":::grins and winks back at the Buny::::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Heatherjn, "Oooh! :::winks at everyone, starting with her husband!::: ::grins winks outrageously at Buny!:::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Bunytales, ":: catches the outrageous winks and raises a harebrow!::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Bunytales, "Maybe I need to resort to more than winks, Heather - like flagrant blowing of kisses or something?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Mashimaro, "::Perks:::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Heatherjn, "Well, what is your goal, Buny? ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Bunytales, "Goal - to catch me a feller."
Your comm unit relays a message from Heatherjn, "I can only tell you what worked for me. ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Bunytales, "Ummmmm is this information suitable for xt's or do I need to hear it privately? ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Heatherjn, "All I did was sit on his lap, and the next thing I knew, Net was slapping the rings on us and reading the rights ... and we were married! ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Bunytales, "::Looking around for a lap!!::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Felina, "and you're expecting too I hear I'll have to be careful about sitting in laps;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Heatherjn, "rofl!! Yes, that is a very good idea. :)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Bunytales, "ok I posted my plea, we'll see if it works."

So gentlemen, if you're interested and have an empty lap, TB Bunytales!! You might just get lucky!!

Until next week, make DataSpace your playground. I'm always watching!

THE BUZZ IV
MysteryNewsDroid@Hotmail.com

It was bound to happen. Sooner or later, the multiverse would have to deal with the consequences of rampart partying and persona swapping. Spaceherpies has entered dataspace!

"Want to hug me, Hazed?", says Spaceherpies with a wink.
Hazed exclaims, "With a name like that? I'd be afraid of catching something awful!"
Felina exclaims, "You just keep coming back!"
"If you are too small to see, how come I'm seeing you?", asks Galinfenner.
"I'm hard to get rid of.", says Spaceherpies with a wink.
Hazed shudders
"You only think you really see me, cause you know I'm here. I bet diesel will like me", says Spaceherpies with a wink.
Felina wonder if it will hurt diesels business when word gets out about spaceherpies in CD's!
"Oh dear, she won't be happy", says Hazed.
"So no I don't think she will and watch out for her bat!", exclaims Felina.
"I bet diesel will like me", says Spaceherpies with a wink.
Diesel takes a very embarrassed-looking Spaceherpies by the hand and slips out through a hidden door. A while later, Diesel reappears thumbing through a large pile of groats, and chuckling to herself.
The GM needs Spaceherpies has just arrived.
Spaceherpies grins
Hazed asks, "Oh dear. Should we post a warning?"
"Oh no!", exclaims Felina.
Felina says, "I think we should"
"Ahh he's friendly enough", says Galinfenner.
"Isn't there some law or something about having to contact all past partners?", asks Felina.
Galinfenner has given Spaceherpies a tender hug!
Galinfenner wouldn't know ;)
Spaceherpies has given Galinfenner a hot hug!
Hazed backs away from Galin
Felina doesn't think she can count that high
Galinfenner grins
Galinfenner asks, "Umm.. You don't remember all your partners Felina?"
Spaceherpies has bought you a moonpie!
Felina says, "Hazed doesn't it seem.. Well a little peculiar that Galin and Spaceherpies are so friendly? They must go waaaaaay back....", says Felina.
Galinfenner winks and says, "Naw, just trying to be friendly"
Felina winks and says, "Yes I do Galin as a matter of fact even those I'd just as soon forget"
Galinfenner writes in his little black evil book
"I don't think I want to know", says Hazed.
Spaceherpies laughs evilly
Felina whispers to Hazed that we might want to get a cleaning crew here just in case..
Felina hugs Hazed carefully since Galin did first
Spaceherpies tries to hug Felina
Felina finds herself wanting a shower for some inexplicable reason…

Since the warnings have been posted in CDs, Diesel's business has indeed dropped off significantly. In addition, there was a run on Penicillin this week, which drove him out of the multiverse with the cry, "I can't stop Spaceherpies!!" Take my advice; proceed with caution when dealing with Spaceherpies.

In other news, the chocolate wars continue. Rasal has accused Felina of not only stealing his chocolate, but also giving away his chocolate. Personally I like the Felina Hood of Chocolate as she's replaced the stale Chocolate Galin Groats the Newsdroids had been getting paid with and paying us instead with the fabulous Galilee chocolate. Keep up the good work, Mistress Felina.

Look out Multiverse… Caffeine has made a certain duchesse quite hyper!

Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "Z, how much sugar have you had today?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "not sugar! BAWLS!!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Gwarrior, "was wondering when you were going to get to that."
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "BAWLS! Mmmmm. ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "What in the world?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "bawls?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr,"::nods:: BAWLS!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal, "You put your bawls to the wall."
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "um...what are bawls?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "Ask Sally!! I was so excited when I got BAWLS delivered to my house :) NATURAL CAFFINE!! Ask Felina!! She knows :)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "She was VERY Excited!!!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "Chocolate?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Felina, "lol I had to look it up on the web."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, It's not everyday you get a case of BAWLS!
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "yikes...dont give me any of that...I'll never stop."
Your comm unit relays a message from Felina, "well it seems like it is for you Zyphr;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "Ok Z, the play on the word is getting old ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "It's not a play on words, Xyli! It's Guarana in a blue bottle and it's YUMMY!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Gwarrior, "lol."
Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "bat poop?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "no that's guano."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, Nonononono
Your comm unit relays a message from Wyldcat, "ROFL!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Gwarrior, "thats guano Xyli."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "it's from the plant! ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "LoL!!!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "its a fruit isn't it?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "do you want a fruity happy party in your mouth! GET BAWLS!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Gwarrior, "lol."
Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "and how much of this stuff have you had already?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "rofl!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "I vote for too much."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "Today? 2!! :)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal, "That is just so wrong. :)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Felina, "I think we need to get it away from her."
Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "No more Z."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "Oh Rasal! You know what's better? FIZZY BAWLS!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "::sneaks over and steals her case of BAWLS::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "ER... Fizzy BLUE BAWLS!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Gwarrior, "Z has lost it."
Your comm unit relays a message from Felina, "no sugar for Net, no more BAWLS for Zyphr."
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal, "Lord. At least you didn't say fuzzy."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "LOL Rasal!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "and limit it to half a one a day."
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "half? I was thinkin quarter."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "Well, other people have dew... I have Blue BAWLS!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "TMI Z ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "It's in a blue bottle, Grey!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal, "::coughs:: Blue bawls -are not- a good thing."
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "LOL!!! I want Blue BAWLS ... maybe I could give up the Dew. ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Wyldcat, "LOL."
Your comm unit relays a message from Felina, "we needed to know this?;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "I will agree with ya Ras."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "Well, I think Blue BAWLS are yummy!!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "Ok I think is is my cue to go back to sleep and wake up when Z is normal."
Your comm unit relays a message from Paul, "Your gonna sleep forever??"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "LOL you'll be sleeping a LONG time!!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Gwarrior, "when is Z normal?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "What's 'normal'?? ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Xyli, "And I'm ok with that."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "And if you are looking for a real stimulating treat, drop a few Penguin Mints into your bottle of Bawls and enjoy what has become to be known as 'fizzling blue bawls'. Where are the penguins?? I need them for my BAWLS!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Felina, "Zyphr it's kinda scary how much of a BAWLS expert you are..."
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "LOL Felina ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "LOL!!!! Penguin fizzy blue bawls ... err ... ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr,"::laughs and laughs::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "::covers head with paws:: no more....please!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Zyphr, "What, GSW, you don't want Bawls?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne, "*grins*"
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf, "oxygen is bad enough...me on caffene??? I dont even wanna contemplate it."

Until next week, make DataSpace your playground. I'm always watching!

TWELVE REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX!

Given the current obsession that certain DataSpace Hostesses have with chocolate (see last week's Inside Scoop), we present here proof that chocolate is a wonderful thing indeed!

ALSATIAN'S LOST PLANET REVIEW

About a month ago Ashkellion sent me a rare treat – a beautiful Grizzle haunch-bone, some meat still clinging at the end of the joint. I was terribly excited yet reluctant to consume it right away. Sentient canines can, on occasion, ignore the momentary gnawing in the pit of their bellies and plan towards the future. I planned on hiding this haunch for that rainy day when there were no chores to be done or cats to be terrorized.

I started a discussion on channel 9 about the true meaning of the term dumping so all the POs logged onto the channel would quickly be fast asleep. Once they were out and DataSpace slipped into that dead quiet time of night I covertly dragged the haunch to the electronics shop, stopping only now and then for an occasional lick on the partially rotted meaty parts. I'd previously found a stash of several hundred discarded used spybeams in a corner of the shop that would make a perfect hiding place.

Pushing the rusted beams aside revealed the perfect Grizzle-haunch hidey hole. I dug quickly, deposited the prize, and rearranged the spybeams to cover my work.

Every day I'd check on my treasure, at first moving aside the beams and digging up my booty, then later just covering the beams with a nice back-kick of dust that would reveal any tampering with my stash. My hoard was never disturbed.

Then finally the day came. I was hungry and out of marsrat snacks. It was time to dig up the bone.

I noted the dust covering the spybeams was still undisturbed. After moving them I checked the ground carefully for any sign of tampering; there was none. I dug for my bone. Then I dug some more. Then some more – deeper than even that long-forgotten Cantina basement. My Grizzle haunch, my prize, my booty was gone.

The Grizzle haunch remains as much as mystery as the mail I was keeping on AOL until I needed it for the next planet review. One day it was parked comfortably in my IN box; the next day it had disappeared off the face of the Net. I learned two important lessons here: snarf down your bones as soon as you get them and print out any important emails as soon as they arrive! Hopefully by next week I'll have the mail reconstructed, planet reviewed, and Ash will send some kibble to tide me over.

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