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WEB FED NEWS YEARBOOKS Earthdate February 2004 |
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WEB FED NEWS YEARBOOKS Earthdate February 2004 |
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FED FUNNIES |
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What was in February 2004's Fed Funnies:
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212942:617 - Halia: Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? 212942:672 - Wolfyn: The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. 212944:612 - Kella: I once was lost... then the holy-rollers disturbed my peaceful slumber. 212945:663 - Mav: First! 212946:550 - Wilde: Ooooo!! Yippie!! I get to smear the board in paint first!! 212947:606 - Tis: The 2 most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and Stupidity. 212948:572 - Art: "No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it." --Charles M. Schulz 212948:699 - Wolfyn: If a man found a genie, and the genie granted him a wish, and the man wished that his wish would not be granted, than could the genie grant the wish? Stardate:1074904769 - Paladin: No wonder the Mars rover stopped transmitting..it must have rolled under the altar Stardate:1074906444 - Freya: Don't hate yourself in the morning, sleep Stardate:1074960882 - Art: I wonder if I should start procrastinating yet? Stardate:1075154243 - Zero: No folks, I'm not a bug in FedII's code. I'm a Randomly Generated Feature with Undefined Behavior. *nods* Stardate:1075511101 - Freya: Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance. 212951:725 - Xorith: Sheesh. So much dust. Will Omega Spacelines EVER be on-time? Further, when is Master-Trader Bury going to move his ship?! 212953:610 - Wirebreak: ::takes a look at the empty board and starts sticking little pieces of wire into it:: anyone want to try to write on it now? Stardate: 107560:8532 - Ruylupez: Note to management: Armstrong Cuthbert offices need a new subscription to Interplanetary Geographic, the issues they have now are massively out of date. Stardate: 107566:9686 - Zero: People say I'm wrong. I'm not. I'm just correctively challenged. Stardate: 107569:5214 - Gearhead: invents a auto-dispensing tea hat for the stevedores:: Maybe that will keep 'em on the job. Stardate: 107622:0763 - Gearhead: Have you ever wondered exactly WHAT they were skinning to get hides on Mercury? Stardate: 107626:6173 - Fortex: It's like Fed Changing Rooms around here, you leave for a century and they move everything around, change the drapes, paint the rooms some strange new colour and put that lovely mobile you love in storage. Stardate: 107637:3136 - Fortex: Waiting for Godot Club: Daily from sunrise to sunset at Godot's on Earth. The unevent event! Stardate: 107654:4341 - Tuk: Why do I feel like a pregnant hampster on the laboring wheel of life... Stardate: 107668:2696 - Vlad: Be an organ donor, give her your heart for Valentines Day! Stardate: 107668:6219 - Hazed: "If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried." - David Brent Stardate: 107672:2467 - Fortex: My paranoia reminds me that I'm alive, my insecurity reminds me I'm human. 212963:635 - Hazed: "You stroll over to the empty notice board and admire the workmanship..." There appears to be an assumption that the board was created by a man... surely it should be "workoneship" or "workthingship". 212965:707 - Xorith: They say never judge a book by its cover. Well, why not? If the cover reads 'How to breed horses' do you THINK I'm actually going to read it *just* to be sure? I think I'll pass. 212966:612 - Maximuszan: ::notices an empty board and quickly scribbles his name, phone number and promise of a good time all over it:: Good Day Fed! 212966:715 - Xorith: When Programmers go mad: "I've got a FLOPPY DISK... and I KNOW HOW TO USE IT! *flicks the write-protect off* DON'T PUSH IT!" 212968:166 - Wolfyn: For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. 212968:616 - Cptmartin: 8:45 and the board is still blank? What's up with that? 212970:150 - Tis: The aliens were here, but they left. Stardate: 107693:7472 - Vlad: Insert witty remark here: it's monday morning and my brain is not yet functioning to produce any witty banter.... Stardate: 107695:2679 - Freya: Compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. Seen on the Fed II board on February 14: Message of the Day: February 21, 2004: 212970:661 - Mav: First in Fed. Second to none. 212973:463 - Tis: Anyone who calls themselves well adjusted in such a sick world as this, is someone to be truly worried about. 212977:194 - Zero: People tell me that I'm in Sane. The heck. I don't even know where Sane is. Stardate: 107790:4775 - Paul: I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. Stardate: 107792:3429 - Freya: Doppler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Contain your excitement! Halia has just arrived. You're not being moody enough! Prano has just disappeared. Your favorite work of Art has just vanished. Often in error, seldom in doubt Jazir has just arrived. A walking Oxymoron, Xyli is here.
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Sallyme, "why is it when I see 'semiconductors.. I get a vision of a smurf leading a marching band? I really need to get out more... ugh " Your comm unit crackles with a message from Sallyme, "Art.. here is another... nanofabrics bring to mind a frilly dress made from printed bananas ;)" Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwarrior, "hauling haul hauling, keep them ships a hauling, hauling hauling hauling, haul on!"
Chewbacon has given Flair a firm kiss.
Rokyu nosd
Fancy smiles, "Well, I think I've explored all of the new solar system. :)"
212969:585 - Art: Meddle not in the affairs of wizards, for <!> ...ribbit. It's not easy being green! Art is here. >ex Art
"I recently shredded some bills from AOL days --- my AOL bill was often $300 and up!", exclaims Boatkittenboa.
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