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FEDERATION 2 - PLAYER REVIEWSSIERPINSKY LOUNGE ON SILKReviewed by Lord Zarquad, Galactic Food Snob ExtraordinaireFor this week's epicurean excursion, I travelled to the Spectacular Sierpinsky Lounge on Silk and the best comment I can say is this place makes me long for a regular human dive bar. The carpet is gorgeous in that "you're the next item on the menu" style of interior decor. The bottles on the wall provide a pleasant distraction to make you feel like this might actually look like a real bar. There are also several large portholes around the lounge with great views of distant stars and planets. This was not the only time during this dining experience that I wished I was on one of those instead. The service is cold, if not downright rude. The bartender seemed to suggest that since I had not yet understood Fermat's last theorem, I was not worthy of being served. And then he dedicated one of his eyes to following me around the room. How am I supposed to conduct proper business with the locals? The waiter who eventually brought out my dinner was no better, showing no warmth other than suggesting that once I fill up, I could 'get tangled in his web' later. Still not sure what he wanted, but either way, I want no part of it. Now, they actually serve some delectable dishes, if you close your eyes and don't think about it. The appetizer consisted of some kind of wafer with toppings. Actually, I suspect they just forgot to remove the packaging material from the cardboard box it came in. The toppings I swear were MOVING. I sent it back to the kitchen to be steamed some more and the chef himself came out to berate me and explain that it was perfect as it was. Perfect for discouraging any repeat business, I suspect. I bit tentatively at it and, well, let's say it tastes like it looks: crunchy and squishy. There was a dipping sauce. The menu described it as an acrid aromatic odor. I can tell you putrid, rotting flesh doesn't begin to describe it. I skipped the sauce. The pizza, while slightly more palatable, is completely uninspired, appearing like the same slop SysCo Foods delivers to every other planet in sol. At least it covered the taste of the wafer and made sure I was not hungry enough to venture into the desserts, even though the waiter's description of a 'Fly-split Sundae' sounded so appetizing. The bright spot is the Old Drosophila Ale. While not of the same quality as Diesel's Old Peculiar, it does provide a good kick to wash down the shatters of your pride for still being in the bar. Drink enough of the Old Drosophila, and you might even forget what was on your wafer. Next time you are traveling in the area of Silk, I suggest you swing by Doris and stock up on their bio-waste, it'll be tastier and healthier than eating on Silk.
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