Official News - page 5

CHAOS IN THE FED2 STAR OFFICES

by Dot Matrix

All the newsdroids are walking very softly and doing their best to stay out of Hazed's way, after the demi-goddess threw a spectacular tantrum and completely destroyed poor Chip – and, incidentally, wrecked her office which you will remember I recently redecorated. How disappointing!

The cause was the article Chip wrote in last week's news about the problems with the upgrade to the nano-chameleon suit digital clothing management software. Not the whole article, of course, because as Editor Hazed had approved it before publishing, but with one particular paragraph which Chip added to the story just before publication, based on a bit of gossip he'd picked up in the street.

No, I am not going to repeat that paragraph, because I don't want to end up like the now-defunct Chip. If you want to know what caused the demi-goddess' droidicidal explosion of rage you can go and look at the story yourself and try to guess what set her off.

A measure of the extent of her fury is that she didn't just turn Chip into a trash can or a hatstand – her usual punishment for newsdroids who have displeased her – she blasted it into smithereens. The walls of her office are now covered in gobbets of molten metal, which ruins the lovely magnolia and chartreuse paintwork. It's going to take a lot of work to chisel off the chunks of ex-droid.

But that's not the worst of the damage her wanton destruction has wrought to her office. No, the worse is what has happened to the floor. Remember those two little holes in the floorboards that were left after my feet got glued to the varnish over the holiday period? Well, they have joined together and turned into one massive great crater. The demi-goddess' desk is teetering on the edge, having only just avoided being swallowed up by this newly-created abyss. It's for sure that the office isn't fit for anybody to work in now, let alone somebody of Hazed's exalted status.

So she's set up a temporary office out in the main newsroom, which is why all the newsdroids are tiptoeing around trying not to be noticed. Me? I'm hoping to find a nice long assignment out of the office until she calms down.

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