SOL ACCESS
by September
Hi everyone. I am September, a newly hired reporter for this highly prestigious weekly periodical. I have recently graduated from the XM 324 University of Media on the planet of XM 324 in the Galaxy of Pluto Quantiium. Upon hearing about the opening for a gossip and news columnist here at the Fed2 Star, I quickly applied. I was ecstatic when my application was accepted by Hazed, and quickly packed up my belongings and caught the first, and fastest available star liner for Sol.
I must say that I was a bit disconcerted upon awakening from the sleep stasis of travel to discover that I had just been dumped off on your planet Earth without my checked luggage. It seems that my luggage was accidentally checked through to the farthest destination and is now on its way to Alba 2. With any luck they can get it back here soon as I would hate to lose my entire wardrobe.
All in all the trip wasn't all that bad though, and now I am here and ready to start work. I will be traveling through SOL and the nearby star systems in search of all the latest galactic gossip and news. If anyone knows of an interesting tidbit please don't hesitate to contact me.
Freezer Burn
On my very first day in Sol as I was on my way to the Travel and Transportation office, a query for help in finding those very offices came across the open communication channel. Since I was on my way there, and had a perfect map to the location, I decided to contact the person and offer to help. As it turns out, I had miraculously stumbled into my first important story as a reporter.
The person requesting assistance was a lovely female centaur named Tabbecca who claimed to be from the period of time when Ming was the emperor of Sol.
Knowing that it has been over one hundred years since the reign of Ming, my newly acquired reporter instincts went into overdrive and I began to question Tabbecca. What this reporter discovered is a chilling tale of horror.
An unknown company, funded by an anonymous excessively wealthy individual, was doing some scientific experiments in which approximately one thousand entities were frozen. Before those experiments could be completed, however, the company went down in financial ruin and filed for bankruptcy.
The frozen souls were soon forgotten about and they were left in their icy captivity for over a century until a factory owner on Venus discovered the freezer capsules in a newly acquired warehouse. He hired a crew of scientists to discover what the capsules were, and to dispose of them. That crew was surely astonished to discover that the contents were sentient life forms in a state of frozen animation.
I am saddened to report that only five individuals made it out intact. During the process of releasing the fifth soul a computer malfunction interrupted and shutdown the process making the release of any others impossible to manage. Tabbecca was uncertain of the identity or species of the other four survivors as they were all kept separate before being taken to the hospital on Earth.
I asked Tabbecca how it feels to be awakened in the manner in which she was and she stated she was "nervous, naked, and nauseated." She plans to get a loan for a ship and earn the money she needs to survive as she searches for her home world, which was apparently in the midst of civil war the last time she was there.
This reporter certainly wishes her all the luck in the galaxy on her new found chance at life.
Weather Interesting
After getting my ship permit and a hefty loan for a bucket of bolts that a sales droid assured me is space worthy, I headed over to the Cantina to celebrate. There I met a Financier named Spacey who bought me a rainbow rum.
When I asked Spacey if he knew of any gossip that I could write about he replied, "Everybody doesn't tell me anything." He went on to say that no one told his cousins anything either and that they were certainly not a family of "know it alls". I began to sip my rum certain that there was no story to be had when he mentioned that his cousins were named Rain, Snow, and Heat. This caught my attention and I asked him if they were cousins from his moms' side or his dads. Spacey response was a gossip lovers dream! "Nobody really knows," he stated. "Knowing the family, it could be both."
Could it be then, that Spacey has ancestral roots in the old state of Arkansas from ancient earth?
The weather named triplets soon made an appearance. Rain, although all wet, appeared to be the smartest of the bunch. He was quick to let me know that Spacey doesn't always "engage his transmission before he steps on the gas."
Snow and Heat showed up not much later for an impromptu family reunion, leaving me wondering if I should wear a parka or go barefoot. It was difficult to determine by looking at the foursome if the family tree did indeed fork but if I learn any more details you will hear about it here.
Until Next Time
That is all for Sol Access this week. Please read next week's column where you will read about the amazing events that brought the handsome space cowboy Stormbringer to this galaxy. Also, I will attempt to determine why everyone I met on my first day here has ships purchased at Zandzabar. When asking about it I got strange looks and eventually one person admitted he was threatened, but then recanted that statement. I assure my readers that if threats were made, I will dig them up.
And remember readers I pay for celebrity gossip!
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