Official News - page 1

THE STAR RETURNS!

by Hazed

The newsdroids have returned from their summer break and are keen to get back to work. They all tell me they had a lovely time on their various vacations but missed being away from me, and are delighted to return to the Fed2 Star offices where they can work with me to produce the best newspaper in the Galaxy.

Most of them manage to sound sincere when they say it, too!

While we were away, the Galaxy was quiet. In what is traditionally the silly season for journalists, the other branches of the media who don't shut down for the lull were forced to cover the most trivial of stories. Among those breaking news items that we missed were:

• The fin of an alien predator spotted in the methane seas of Titan.
• A marsrat in a retirement home that can tell when one of the inmates is going to die.
• Ex-Emperor Ming found - apparently he's been living as a beachcomber on an otherwise obscure water world in the back of beyond.
• A grizzle wandered out of the caves on Mercury and into the Hydrargyrum Hotel kitchens.
• A campaign to free Schroedinger's cat!

So you can see that our high standards of journalism were not really needed.

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