Official News page 9

REAL LIFE NEWS: RECIPE ROW LANDS BROTHERS IN COURT

by Hazed

Sometimes people have very definite ideas about the correct way to cook a certain dish. Sometimes they have arguments about the right ingredients. Sometimes those arguments get heated. But they don't always land people in court! That's what happened to two brothers whose disagreement about the correct way to make shepherd's pie* descended into violence and threats of mayhem.

Michael and John Garvin spent the day drinking, after which the former offered to cook the latter some dinner. Michael made a shepherd's pie and expected John to be grateful. But John wasn't happy: he complained that the pie wasn't right because it had not been topped with a layer of sliced tomatoes.

Michael, who is a chef, said that sliced tomatoes were not a correct ingredient in shepherd's pie, and responded to John's complaint by hitting him over the head with a shovel. Well, I get tetchy when people criticize my cooking, but that's a bit over the top!

The argument continued and got even more out of control when John threatened to petrol bomb his brother's flat. At this point, he was arrested, and spent a night in the cells before appearing in court. At the hearing, it transpired that John had previously set fire to his own flat, so his threat to firebomb's his brother's home may not have just been the booze talking.

What a charming pair!

* Shepherd's pie is a traditional English dish containing minced (ground) beef and onions in gravy, topped with mashed potato. Sometimes it has other vegetables in it, such as carrots or swede. Sometimes it has tomato paste to flavor it, as well as herbs. Sometimes it has cheese on top of the potato. But I have never heard of adding a layer of sliced tomatoes to the dish!

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