Official News page 7

REAL LIFE NEWS: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M A COUCH POTATO

by Hazed

I am lazy. I freely admit it. My favorite activity is to sit and read a book. Second favorite is to lie down and read. I have always believed in conservation of energy: never stand up straight when you can lean against something, sit down whenever the opportunity arises, and never, ever run for a bus because there will always be another one along in a moment.

Why am I like this? For years, I have been told it's because I am weak-willed, morally lacking, and that it's all my fault. But now I can go nyah-nyah to all those fast, fit, athletic types because it turns out it's not my fault at all. I was born like this. It's all in my genes.

Two new studies suggest that the inclination to take exercise may be strongly affected by genetics. The tests so far have all been on mice, but they are the standard test subject for this kind of study so the results should apply to other mammals, including humans.

I won't go into the boring technical detail - you can read all about the two studies here - but I do feel justified. And vindicated. Of course, knowing it's not my fault won't help me to lose weight... but I will feel better!

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