Official News page 4

FED2 STAR DRAGGED INTO PATENT FIGHT

by Hazed

It's normal for the Fed2 Star to report the news (or, on occasion, to make it up) but seldom are we actually the subject of the news. However, we're being dragged into a court battle over patents, and it's all my fault.

I should say that when I use the word 'I', this isn't Hazed herself transmitting. It's one of her newsdroids. All the things that have her name on them are, of course, written by her team of mechanical journalists. Usually we remain anonymous, being interchangeable machine intelligences, with the exception of the team member that gets lumbered with the Christmas holiday shift, but now I have had to come out from behind the shield of the demi-goddess' name to appear as a witness in a law suit.

The case is all about who makes money out of teleporters. As you know, the Imperial Navy were responsible for their redevelopment, and they tried to keep the technology secret. As you might expect, they didn't succeed, because the navy has more leaks than a colander, and that woman on The Lattice is now renting out teleporters to anyone with the slithies to spare.

Now, you might expect the Imperial Navy would be the ones to launch a case to try and suppress the technology, but they have shown uncommon good sense in the realization that once the cat is out of the bag, it's pointless to try to stuff it back in again. All you get is a shredded bag and an angry cat. Not mention scratches all up your arms (or equivalent.) No, it's not the navy who have subpoenaed me as a witness. It is Quizlo.

Who he, you ask? Well, he's the owner of an independent star system, and he's claiming that his scientists were the ones to develop the new-style teleporters, and therefore he's due a cut of the income.

His evidence? It's an article in the Fed2 Star, and I was the droid responsible for writing it. When I reported that teleportation equipment was available again, I wrote:

"Rogue scientists got hold of the details and figured out how to build teleporters that work safely and reliably - and cheaply."

And this is what has prompted Quizlo's claim. Rogue scientists, he says, obviously come from the planet Rogue, which he owns.

And so I have to appear in court and explain to a jury that when I used the word rogue, I meant it in the generic sense, not the specific. It's pathetic. Anyone with half a brain would realize that.

What next? Will Quizlo claim ownership of Earth's wilderness because his system is called Wilderness?

Let's hope the judge throws the case out swiftly.

Fed2 Star index Previous issues Fed 2 home page