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GALLAGHERS NEW CHARM ON SALE NOW

by Hazed

Anton Gallagher called a press conference this week to demonstrate the new keyring charm that has just gone on sale, and in the process almost blinded one of the Fed2 Star's newsdroids.

The charm is a twin-laser. While that sounds like a lethal weapon, and it is indeed modeled on the fearsome TL that used to be installed in fighting spaceships, it's a very small version so doesn't have the power to burn a hole in anything. Instead, the one blue and one red beam can be used as a laser pointer.

Unfortunately, when demonstrating how the pointer works, Mr Gallagher got just a bit too enthusiastic, and shone the twin beams right into the ocular sensors of the newsdroid we had sent along to cover the story. The poor droid lost its sight for several hours and had to be carried back to the office. Happily, its vision returned, otherwise I would have had to find room for another hatstand!

You can buy the new charm for one slithy tove, so long as you have the special TenBrane keyring to hang it from, with 'BUY TWIN-LASER'. Once you have this prized object in your possession you can 'CLIP TWIN-LASER CHARM' to display it on your keyring. 'USE TWIN-LASER CHARM' turns on the laser pointing function, or for a more energetic display you can 'FIRE TWIN-LASER CHARM'.

Last month's charm, the very creepy clown's head, is officially no longer available, but as always happens, the venial assistant has secreted a few boxes under the counter and will sell them on the quiet for two slithies.

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