POSTS OF THE WEEK
Stardate: 134098:8794 - Wildbill: Mooning is lunacy.-
Stardate: 134098:9471 - Wildbill: A man walks into a doctor’s office and asks the doctor to inspect his leg. The man says, “Here, put your ear to my knee.” The doctor puts his ear to the man’s knee and hears very faintly, “Come on, can I have five bucks, just five bucks?” The doctor steps back in horror, and the man says, “I know, but it gets worse. Put your ear to my shin.” The doctor puts his ear to the man’s shin and hears very faintly, “Come on, can I have ten bucks, just ten bucks?” Once again, the doctor stands up, very perplexed. The man then says, “If that surprises you, put your ear to my ankle.” The doctor puts his ear to the man’s ankle and hears oh so faintly, “Come on, can I have twenty bucks, just twenty bucks?” The doctor then stands up and says, “Well, I can I make just one conclusion. Your leg is broke in three places.”
Stardate: 134107:7138 - Wildbill: A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri.” “No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri doc.”
Stardate: 134114:9531 - Zeeke: If chickens could choose any car at all to be given to them, they would choose a free Range Rover.
Stardate: 134115:2341 - Zand: I though they would prefer a Coupe De Ville
Stardate: 134120:7114 - Wildbill: Partying Saturday and Sunday leaves me feeling weakened.
Stardate: 134126:9771 - Meijerman: do cornfields get cobwebs????
Stardate: 134133:4244 - Wildbill: You know you’ve spent too much time with the mouse when you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
Stardate: 134141:1722 - Wildbill: He tried to get her to marry him to no a-veil.
Stardate: 134150:8738 - Wildbill: Building a cul-de-sac would be a bit of a dead-end job.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, “Bella knows everything”
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, “Because I tell her everything”
