THE DROID IN CHARGE
by Boltz, temporary stand-in relief vacation newsdroid
While Hazed is off relaxing on a beach somewhere, sipping those ghastly pink cocktails that for some reason she insists on drinking in the company of a live monkey, she left me to keep an eye on the Fed2 Star office – just in case any actual, you know, news should happen.
Which, as she was delighted to inform me, was extremely unlikely, given that it’s the height of the summer silly season, and everyone is occupied by the Galactic sports contest.
So I laid in a stack of action holos to watch and prepared to spend a couple of weeks with my wheel up on the desk, relaxing in front of the viewer as my favorite star, Brix Chanterel, he crashed another spaceship into an asteroid while simultaneously firing a photon torpedo at whichever stock baddy he was chasing in this particular epic.
When suddenly the holo action was interrupted by a certain green-skinned personage. Yes, to my utter surprise, Our Illustrious Leader, Bella, poked her head around the office door and bellowed for my attention.
Well, she didn’t ask for me by name, of course, she just yelled out, “Droid!” but I knew she must mean me because I was the only droid there.
I turned Brix Chanterel off (by now he was having an extended smooch with a femme fatale who was finding some very inventive things to do with her tentacles) and wheeled over to see what the Goddess of Fed DataSpace wanted.
It turns out she had some news for me. How unexpected. She thrust a data crystal into my gripper and told me to send it out as a bulletin right away. With that, she turned and left. Didn’t even say “please”.
That left me in a bit of a quandry. Since I hadn’t expected there to be any actual news while I was minding the shop, I hadn’t bothered to figure out how to operate the machinery. Hazed hadn’t given me any training, she’d just chucked a book at me and told me it contained the instructions and she was sure I’d figure it out if I needed it, which I probably wouldn’t.
Well, what could I do but read the manual?
It seemed to have been written in Aldebaaran and then translated into Galactic standard via several other obscure languages. The diagrams had been drawn by a short-sighted neo-chimp that had lost its contact lenses. Some of the pages had been printed upside down.
But I managed to figure it out, eventually, so here is the information Bella wanted me to give you:
RESET RETURNING TO ITS TRADITIONAL TIME
by Boltz, temporary stand-in relief vacation newsdroid
Bella has fixed the auto-reset code that has failed to work since Fed moved to the cloud, and when she implements it, the reset will return to its traditional time of 1.00pm server time on Friday this week. (That’s 8.00am eastern time.)
In order to ensure we don’t end up with two resets in one 24 hour period, Bella will leave a bit of a gap between resets:
- The reset on Wednesday will be at the current time of 7.00pm server time (2.00pm eastern).
- There will be no reset on Thursday.
- The Friday reset will be at 1.00pm server time (8.00am eastern time). Bella will do this reset manually.
- The Saturday reset, and all the subsequent ones, will happen automatically at 1.00pm server time (8.00am eastern time).
Bulletin ends.
