THE MONTH IN BRIEF
After a long, long wait companies and factories were implemented, and players given the opportunity to promote to Industrialist by setting up an IPO.
The 'RANKS' command was extended so you could find out the promotion requirements for any rank, not just your own, with 'RANKS rankname'. At the same time as providing this useful new feature, Bella has changed the names of some of the ranks yet to come. The owner of a resource planet is now an engineer, and the highest planned rank (previously known as Grand Duke) is Syndicrat. Of course, there is no point getting your Syndidrat t-shirts printed just yet because the rank names may change again between now and the time a rank actually gets programmed!
Due to an unfortunate game crash at just the wrong moment, two of the test team - Fancy and Ferreri - found themselves Industrialists without companies. Whoops!
A new help system was added to the game, so that newbods could ask for help on topics they need to know about, such as ships, start, move, etc.
The Christmas puzzle, based on Earth, was opened up, with the terrible news that something had happened to Santa and no presents had been delivered on Christmas morning.
HOW THE IMPERIAL NAVY KEEPS US SAFE
by Hally Godarkly
The Galactic Administration has been trumpeting recently about its determination to save money, and one of the ways they propose to do this is by budget cuts. Amongst the organisations affected by the proposed cuts is the Imperial Navy.
At first sight, this seems a logical place to make savings. After all, the threat from the Martians is long past, and ever since the Solar System lost touch with the rest of the Galaxy (see the Encyclopedia Galactica entry on The Interregnum) there has been no threat from alien invasion. So it seems sensible to scale back the Solar System's forces and use the money saved for more important things.
Of course, the Imperial Navy isn't at all happy with these plans, and they have set out to prove that a strong defensive system is still needed today. In an unprecedented move, they have opened their secret files and lifted the lid on their operations. In an exclusive interview with the Fed II Star, the First Space Lord, Admiral Katov - she's the boss of the whole shebang, readers! - explained to me just why these proposed reductions are a bad idea, and how they will leave the citizens of Sol in great danger.
Admiral Katov started by revealing some quite astonishing statistics. I saw documents that were normally classified, and which showed that last year there were 472 incursions into the Solar System of unidentified objects, and that less than half of them were natural bodies such as comets. I asked the Admiral how this affects the Navy's operations:
"Well Hally, the Navy is certainly kept busy defending the Sol planets from alien probes which are sent into Sol by other means than the currently unavailable hyperspace technology. That's why these budget cuts would be disastrous - they could leave portions of the system undefended, and at the mercy of alien invaders.
She explained how our brave boys on the navy ships protect you, me, and even the readers of rival newspapers, from this terrible threat. "The constant vigilance of our stealth patrol ships ensures that you can go about your daily business without panic. Our vessels stand ready to shoot down any ship which is identified as hostile, using state-of-the-art leading-edge smart technology."
I asked for some details on the technology, and although she at first seemed reluctant to reveal the details ("Security issues, you know.") she changed her mind when I reminded her of the crucial issue: namely, the terrible spectre of budget cuts haunting the Navy. And so, readers, I learned what until now has been considered an official secret, revealing the details of which would have landed me in a security cell.
It's an amazing story, of dedicated researchers developing new systems, and of cooperation between the Navy and the commercial sector. And at the heart of it is Jarrow Shipbuilders.
The Imperial Navy's patrol ships use a challenge and response system to separate out legitimate ships from alien invaders. This is after it's used scanners to tell the difference between lumps of harmless rock, and man-made objects such as ships, of course. This IFF system (that stands for Identification - Friend or Foe) means that a Navy computer sends out a query to an unidentified ship, asking it to identify itself. If the Navy ship doesn't get the response it expects, it goes to alert, and the potential foe is targetted and, eventually, destroyed.
Although I was impressed when I heard about this technology, I was also worried. What, I asked the Admiral, kept the Navy from thinking legitimate ships - your cargo-hauler, for example - was a dangerous alien invader? Suppose the long-range shuttle I use for my investigative missions encountered a Navy patrol ship - was their a risk that I would get blasted with a missile by some over-eager gunner?
The Admiral went to some lengths to reassure me, and actually explained how the technology works. "Don't worry, Ms Godarkly, your ship is quite safe from the Navy. We're not trigger-happy goons, after all!"
Well, that was a relief!
"It's all thanks to Jarrow Shipbuilders. You see, every ship sold by Jarrow has a device fitted to it called a transponder - something that receives a radio signal, and automatically transmits a different signal in response (transmit + respond = transpond, you see?)."
Yes, I saw, but I still didn't understand, so Admiral Katov tried to explain it in layperson's terms that even the Fed II Star readers would be able to grasp.
"That's the widget that assures any Navy ship in the area that you are harmless, and it's why you are allowed to fly around the Solar System in safety. The transponder is what identifies you as a friendly vessel, and allows the Navy to take swift and decisive action against hostile vessels."
I wondered what would happen if the transponder were to break down - wouldn't that leave my ship vulnerable to Navy fire? But the Admiral found that suggestion amusing, and said, "No no, it's impossible for the transponder to break - it's absolutely fool-proof technology, 100% reliable, so don't you worry about that."
That was all the time that Admiral Katov was able to give me, but I left feeling reassured that thanks to this amazing technology I was at no risk of being hauled over and challenged on a regular basis - at least, not by the Navy. Customs are of course a different matter!
HOW THE GA WASTES YOUR TAX GROATS ON DRUNKEN HUNTING PARTIES
by Hally Godarkly
If you were alive back in the dark days of the reign of Ming, the Emperor who was mad, bad, and most definitely dangerous to know, then you may have heard the rumors about one of his favorite pastimes - the hunting parties where he hunted not only wild animals but also (it was whispered) people who displeased him.
In truth, the existence of Ming's hunting preserve was an open secret. Many knew about it, but few talked about it, for fear of ending up there on the wrong end of a shotgun. Then, after Ming's departure, there were so many pressing issues of the day to write about that journalists and investigators like myself forgot all about it.
Until now, for readers, I have made a shocking discovery. Ming's wilderness still exists, and is being kept up by the Galactic Administration - financed using your tax groats - for the sole use of top GA officials.
Now, the existence of a wilderness area on Earth will come as a surprise to a lot of you. We are all taught in school that most of the Earth's surface was concreted over long before the late and not-so-very-lamented Ming came to power. True, but one of the mad Emperor's whims was that he wanted to be able to pretend he was a great hunter in a virgin stretch of forest, so he called in a young up-and-coming terraformer by the name of Slarti to knock down some buildings in an unimportant area, rip up a chunk of the concrete and create a wilderness preserve.
Slarti himself is an old man now, head of a very successful planet-building business operating on the Magrathea space station on the outskirts of the Sol system. He told me how he came to be involved in this project.
"I was a young designer," he said, "eager for fame and fortune and hungry for any challenge which would put my name on the map. I'd just won an award for my fjords, and I was looking for a project that would really stretch my skills as a designer and terraformer. I didn't reckon on that challenge coming from the throne!
"Ming was a fairly new Emperor at the time, but he'd already got that reputation as a ruthless bastard who'd have you killed if you so much as looked at him the wrong way, so when an invitation came to visit him at the palace, I didn't know whether to cheer, or to run for my life. In the end, I had no choice but to show up because he sent a contingent of guards to make sure I did.
"Ming's requirements were quite simple. All he wanted was a stretch of forest, a wilderness area, populated by things he could hunt. I tried my best to keep it authentic, in the European style, populated with the kind of animals that fitted in - wolves, lynx, deer and so on - and mostly it worked barring one or two oddities that the Emperor insisted on, like the inclusion of a giant American redwood tree of all things. The one condition that annoyed me the most was that he wanted to be able to hunt the animals without being in any danger himself, so I had to come up with a way that would keep him and his cronies safe, but allow the animals to eat anybody who displeased him. Disgusting, but then compared to some of his outrages I suppose that one was rather insignificant.
"To tell you the truth, it was quite a boring project - or it would have been if the threat that if Ming didn't like what I did, he'd have had me executed, hadn't been hanging over me. Fortunately, he was delighted with my work, and I received a substantial bonus which enabled me to start my own business."
The existence of this hunting area slipped my mind in the turmoil of the years following the disappearance of Ming and the rise of the Galactic Administration bureaucracy, until a chance meeting recently with a man who used to be an official driver for the Ministry of Justice.
I asked him about his old boss, Minister Jerrard Hopgent, hoping for some tiny shred of dirt but not really expected anything much beyond routine tales of minor embezzlement, when he said something that caught my ears. He mentioned driving the Minister to hunting parties. This jogged my memory and the rumors about Ming's wilderness preserve came to mind, so I asked the driver - he wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, so we'll just call him Brad - to tell me more.
Brad told me how he drove the Ministry's shuttle to Ming's secret wilderness area for parties several times a month for many years, until he retired recently. "It was a regular thing," Brad explained. "Sometimes it would be the Minister and a few of his friends, and they would make a serious effort to hunt and shoot the animals in the preserve. I had to help load the kills into the shuttle and then deliver them to a secret taxidermist where they could be stuffed and mounted - and believe me, the shuttle used to get messed up real bad with the blood and stuff. Nasty. Took days to get the smell out, sometimes.
"Other times, the shuttle would be full of people, as Minister Hopgent and his friends would take along a crowd for parties held in an old hunting lodge that used to belong to Ming."
I asked what went on at these parties, and Brad blushed as he told me. "Well this one time, it was my birthday, and the Minister told me I could come to the party instead of staying in the shuttle like I usually did. Well, I say party, it was more like a drunken orgy. I didn't know where to put myself. I'm a man of the world, but this was wild." Brad told me more about what happened that night, and how he was forced to participate against his will in scenes of degradation and sexual abandon, but it's not something that can be repeated in a family newspaper.
Well, readers, I was shocked by these revelations so I went into full sleuthing mode to find out more. Careful cultivation of a source in the GA's accounts department got me a look at the Ministry of Justice's budget statements, and sure enough, a large amount of the groats that you pay in taxes goes towards funding the upkeep of this wilderness hunting ground, and what's more, the refreshments for those drunken parties come out of the public purse too.
Brad was not willing to tell me where on Earth this wilderness area is located because he had to sign a confidentiality document on retiring from the Ministry's employ. So far, I've not had any success in finding out for myself, but I will keep on trying, and readers, you can rest assured that I will be visiting the place if I get the chance.
IMPERIAL NAVY ALL SET TO TRACK SANTA
by Hally Godarkly
Christmas is coming, and all over the Solar System people are getting ready for the celebrations. Well, there are a few planets where Christmas isn't celebrated for various reasons - I hear that on Titan, the management doesn't allow any time off for the festivities, and insist that operations go on as normal no matter what time of year it is. What a bunch of party poopers!
Excepting those scrooges, ordinary folk are buying presents and making preparations for parties and big meals, and businesses are working overtime to provide things they need. But it's not just us civilians who have preparations to make. The Imperial Navy, too, has a role to play at this time of year, and they are gearing up for that most important of tasks: tracking Santa.
It is their job to monitor the progress of Father Christmas as he flies around the Solar System on Christmas Eve delivering presents. Using sophisticated sensors mounted on satellites in orbit around the planets, as well as on their stealth ships, the navy not only track his journey, but also make sure he doesn't encounter any obstacles on his way.
I wangled my way into Earth's naval base (yes readers, I know it's completely off-limits to civilians, but what kind of investigative reporter would I be if I didn't have my little ways?) and was shown around the CIC - the room from where Santa's journey is monitored (that's one of those acronyms military organisations are so very fond of, it stands for combat information center). A darling little officer called Lieutenant Jay Gee explained to me how it worked. Frankly it was all very technical and you'd probably find the details a tad boring. I know I did!
What I did learn was that at the first sign of Santa's sleigh leaving his headquarters in the North Pole, the Earth satellites will start their job of watching his route as he traverses the globe. One of the most effective methods they have of tracking Santa is by using heat sensors mounted on their spy-eye satellites which, as you know, provide complete coverage of the Earth's surface. Normally the heat sensors are used to detect unauthorised launches of ships or missiles. On December 24 they will be homing in on the heat generated by Rudolph's red nose, which shows up like a beacon on the monitoring screens.
Well frankly, readers, that just doesn't make much sense to me. I'm no scientist, but I do know that the heat generated by a ship or missile taking off is enormous. A reindeer's nose, on the other hand, however red and shiny it might be, cannot possibly give off enough heat to be detected from orbit, can it? My theory is that that's just the story they put out because the kiddies like it. What's really happening, I think, is that the Navy tracks Santa's sleigh with exactly the same technology they use to track all ships in the Solar System: transponders. (See my interview with Admiral Katov.)
Still, however the navy actually does it, we can all rest easy knowing that Santa's progress will be monitored by experts like Lt Gee, so we can be assured that our presents will be waiting for us when we wake up on Christmas morning.
STOP PRESS: CHRISTMAS DISASTER
Well, what a turn-up for the books! When Hazed left me - Junior Trainee Assistant NewsDroid Robby - in charge of the Fed II Star offices while everyone else took their Christmas break, she told me that nothing would happen so I would have a quiet time. But now, one of the biggest stories of the year has broken - and there's just me here to report the details!
I hope I don't mess this up. Now, which button do I push to publish a story - is it this one? Yes, I think so. Here we go...
Santa Vanishes, No Presents Delivered
A disaster of unimaginable magnitude has struck the Solar System. News has come in to the Fed II Star offices that Santa Claus failed to make his annual Christmas Eve present run as usual. Children everywhere awoke this morning to find themselves without any presents.
The Imperial Navy, who every year track Santa's journey from start to finish, have made no statement about this disaster, although an anonymous source did tell us that CIC tracking equipment definitely shows Santa taking off from the North pole on schedule. If the Navy knows what happened after that, they are not saying.
Meanwhile, rioting children have besieged the Galactic Administration headquarters building on Earth to protest their missing presents, and the complaints booth is overwhelmed. Most of the GA bureaucracy are, of course, away for the Christmas holidays, but a spokesbeing put out the following statement:
"The Galactic Administration is deeply shocked by the disappearance of Father Christmas, and we sympathise all those affected.
"The Galactic Administration would ask that anybody who has any information that might shed light on these terrible circumstances, or who is willing to give up their holiday time to help investigate, should please present themselves to the Galactic Administration HQ as soon as possible.
"This call applies to adults only, of course. We must urge children everywhere to stay home - visiting the GA HQ serves no purpose. Rest assured we are doing everything in our power to solve the mystery of Santa's disappearance, and are sure things will be back to normal soon."
At this point the spokesbeing broke off his statement when a mob of screaming toddlers drowned out whatever else he had to say, and an angry teenager threw an egg at him.
We here at the Star can only hope that somebody sorts this mess out soon, because we have children too, and they are all very, very upset!
Well, that seemed to go OK. I hope Hazed will be pleased when she comes back into the office. Maybe she'll promote me to Senior Trainee Assistant.
REAL LIFE NEWS: ALIENS MADE ME DRIVE TOO FAST
Ok, you've been caught breaking the speed limit. What's your excuse? Can you blame it on aliens?
The Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership (that's in the North of England) has compiled a list of the best excuses given by drivers snapped by speed cameras. Top of the list is an alien-induced trance, which is a pretty impressive story, way beyond the kind of "dog ate my homework" excuses one usually hears.
Ray King, manager of the partnership, said: "Some drivers seem to think that if they tell a good enough story then they will get off." Sadly, they never do.
And so to the Top Ten List:
1. I had passed out after seeing flashing lights, which I believed to be UFOs in the distance. The flash of the camera brought me round from my trance.
2. I was in the airport's flight path and I believe the camera was triggered by a jet overhead, not my car.
3. I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet.
4. There was a strong wind behind my car which pushed me over the limit.
5. My friend had just chopped his fingers off and I was rushing the fingers to hospital.
6. The vibrations from the surfboard I had on the roof rack set off the camera.
7. I had to rush my dying hamster to the vets.
8. A violent sneeze caused a chain reaction where my foot pushed down harder on the accelerator.
9. There was a suspected case of foot and mouth and I had to rush to see the cow concerned.
10. The only way I could demonstrate my faulty clutch was to accelerate madly.
Very inventive!
|
