THE
MONTH IN BRIEFAt
last, the credit card billing software was rolled out so
that players could purchase time credits online and have
them instantly posted to their accounts. Meanwhile,
checks continued to roll in, but unfortunately the first
few bouncing checks were returned by the bank.
Players who hadn't been seen since
the billing clock had been turned on started to trickle
back into the game.
GMs breathed a sigh of relief as
the tonnage of jobs they had to give out was lowered
considerably.
The Fed character deletion routines
were turned off - for good. Fed characters no longer got
nuked after three months of inactivity. Instead, accounts
were cancelled after three months, provided they had no
unused time credits, and this caused Fed characters to
disappear.
We gave the first hints about
Genesis, the offline planet builder which was being
developed as part of FedTerm Loaded.
Icedrake awarded a Carpenter to
Trazier's Gargoyle for his excellent planet.
Selena of the Spaceways went to the
Balticon science fiction convention in Baltimore, to hand
out leaflets about Fed.
The silliest party in the Universe
was held on April Fool's Day - see the report below.
The easter prize planet Jellybeanz
was opened and the puzzle was solved by Jaime. The Easter
Bunny dished out eggs and then ran for his life as he
became the central figure in the Wabbit Hunt.
In London, UK Fedders got together
for a drink and a meal in Chiswick - see report below.
APRIL
FOOLS!
by Jinx
Yowzah! Whether chandelier
swingers, jello shot-putters, pie throwers, or just
sideline gawkers, a merry time was had by all attending
this year's April Fools Day party at Chez Diesel! The
festivities were graced by the presence of most of Fed's
top Fools and Jesters, including Bella, Barb, Uniquette,
Fireimp and the infamous Icedrake. Of particular note was
the large variety of pies available for throwing. Banana
creme seemed to be the most popular, followed closely by
lemon meringue and chocolate.
The assorted buffoons brought their
favorite toys: Aneriff wore his lampshade with aplomb,
lighting up the gala event; Raphael brought out his
clown-sized pie thrower while Nouveaux carried his trusty
JelloMaster 2000, fully loaded, Mrsfrogge backing him up
with her own version of a jello-blaster!. After a few
rounds of pie throwing and jello fountain diving, MC
Krimhurg sent the contestants off to Mars, to find
Fireimp. Fancy finally located him at the altar, winning
a genuine Fed T-shirt. The triumphant Fancy returned to
the slightly sticky CDs, to be presented by judges Dez
and Stevec with a loving cup inscribed "Foolishly
followed da Imp!"
The Overall Fool of the Day,
winning ten hours, was Zorra, wearing a pointed hat with
bells, Vulcan ears, a frothy pink tutu, Smurf slippers,
and strategically placed kitchen utensils. First regaling
the motley crew with silly songs, she later used
somebody's thong to perfect a pie-slingshot, propelling
pies left and right with gleeful abandon.
Huntress and Goldpirate, winners of
the Most Foolish Group garnering ten hours each, climbed
into the chandelier, tossing pies at anything that moved,
and generally harassing their fellow jesters, especially
each other!
A special award of ten hours was
given to the colorful Tgruxer, who had the most foolish
costume of the night (wrong holiday!). He wore his pink
diaper, blue sandals, green bonnet, red wings, and a
quiver of arrows with his yellow bow. He insanely fired
arrows indiscriminately around the room, narrowly missing
Barb's left big toe!
To those who bared their comical
souls, Congratulations on a job well done. And to those
who chose not to attend, how "Foolish" of you!
WHERE
DO YOU COME FROM?
Now we have got credit card payment
in it's much easier for people to buy time from us. In
particular, those from overseas won't have to go through
the long-winded and expensive process of sending us
international money orders.
Still, over the past few months we
did receive money orders from a number of far-flung
places. It seems that as well as US players, we have
Fedders from the following countries:
England
Scotland
Wales
Ireland
France
Germany
Netherlands
Norway
Italy
Spain
Canada
Mexico
And there may be more, from even
more exotic and distant locations!
If you live in another country drop
us some mail and tell us. Let's find out where the most
far-away Fedder lives!
WHO IS
I.M. DOUGLES AND WHY IS HE BLOCKING MY ACCOUNT?
By Hazed
I was trawling through old Feedback
Mail recently, looking for letters that cropped up
frequently, and I found a most puzzling letter. It said:
"when I go to check my
account there is a security block on it from someone
named im dougles, and I don't know who this is could
you please try and find out what is going on with my
account."
This made me scratch my head
because I couldn't think who IM Dougles might be, or what
he might have to do with anybody's account. So I put the
letter on one side to think about some more later.
Not long after that, I found a
letter from someone else which threw light onto the
identity of the mysterious Mr, Mrs or Ms Dougles...
"I cannot access my
account tonight for some reason though I can access
anything else at the website. Here's what happens.
When I click on "your account" I get a
message:
The Internet site you are
trying to view uses a security certificate
that was signed by an unknown authority. This
page cannot be
viewed.
You can get additional
information about the certificate which says:
Subject www.ibgames.net
Interactive Broadcasting Ltd
Douglas, IM"
The light dawns, the penny drops,
and other cliches. Interactive Broadcasting is a company
which is registered in the Isle of Man, the capital city
of which is Douglas - in other words, Douglas, IM. Not a
person called IM Dougles.
I haven't quite stopped laughing
yet.
REPORT
ON THE LONDON FED MEET
Despite a difficult week filled
with extremely unseasonal weather for Britain including
floods, snow and hail, a group of UK Fed players and IB
Staff gathered for a London Fed Meet on Saturday evening,
18 April. Those who attended were Hazed, Bella and Barb
and an assortment of old and new Fed players from several
versions of Fed: Detros, Good, Etolf, Birdbrain and Omi.
Also present as special guest mascot was the Teddy Bear
aka Hurricane Detector. (The story is arcane Fed Meet
History.)
The evening commenced with the
ever-popular classic "Is That Person Over There A
Fed Player?" quiz game, followed by introductions
and the quaffing of a few drinks at the JJ Moons pub in
Chiswick. We then tramped several blocks down the High
Street in the drizzle, in typically disorganized fashion,
to Caffe Uno for a meal. Conversation continued over food
and wine, with a lively assortment of stories and
reminiscences. We won't repeat the stories here since you
should have attended if you wanted to hear them, though
with a sufficient bribe an attendee might unbend enough
to relate a few juicy tidbits.
The unanimous choice for dessert
was a crepe stuffed with peaches and whipped cheam and
grand marnier and drizzled with chocolate sauce.
One highlight of the Meet was
Bella's announcement of an additional item to be placed
on the Official Fed Bribe List. Bella's prime bribe items
will now include a Jenson Interceptor. (Please address
serious inquiries regarding the Official Bribe List to
Barb.)
Hazed related how she went DD in
the earliest days of Fed. Several of us placed bets on
how soon the teetering tower of stacked glasses on the
bar directly behind Bella's head would collapse. Planet
design and puzzle construction were talked about. And we
all agreed that we didn't tell any naughty stories behind
the backs of those not attending. Absolutely. Really.
Trust us. (Or make sure to come to the next Fed Meet!)
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