 TOP TEN TIDBITS OF ADVICE FOR NEW POs
by Tickenest
Yes, it's me, once again, back with
another Top Ten List. Please don't ask what I've been
doing all of this time. I'd have to kill you if I told
you.
Anyway, I recently joined a young
duchy with young (well, I don't really know how old these
people are) Squires in need of someone to give them
advice and guidance in running a planet. Now, why I was
asked to fulfill this role, I'll never know. However, I
thought that I shouldn't share my advice just with the
POs in my new duchy, but with everyone.
| 10. |
Always
have clearly-marked directions from your LP to
your strip club. |
| 9. |
Don't
eat the yellow snow. |
| 8. |
As
a "PO", you can equate yourself with
someone four ranks above you when dealing with
lowly Merchants. |
| 7. |
When
prospective Dukes talk to you about how they
offer "protection", be afraid. |
| 6. |
Put
your exchange 23 spaces from the LP so that the
traders can take a nice, refreshing walk through
the most eloquently written locations, full of
lively phrases and really, really long sentences
which they will stop to read each time they pass,
totally enamorating them and leaving them fully
satisfied, having come to your planet just to
sell off some univators. |
| 5. |
Escriba
sus locos en espaņol porque a sus amigos les
gustan. |
| 4. |
Always
allocate all of your production points to games.
Those puppies sell like hot cakes. |
| 3. |
When
hosting company on your planet, always, always,
always make sure that you've changed out of your
hospital gown first. |
| 2. |
Make
every location look exactly alike. This will save
your visitors from having to read all new text
each time they move. |
| 1. |
Security
builds all the way. |
(Side note: In case you
don't know Spanish, in #5 I said "Write your
locations in Spanish because your friends like it.")
QUOTES
OF THE MONTH
Hazed smiles, "I just heard a
comedian on the radio refer to anything to do with the
Y2K problem as "Millenium Buggery"."
Edward says, "hey did you
hear??? i did the impossible"
Montag asks, "You hit on dreammaker and got turned
down Edward?"
Your comm unit relays a message
from Bartholomew, "In my day, we didn't have
Genesis...we had to put planets together with our bare
hands...and we scraped our knuckles and we liked
it!!"
Your comm unit signals a tight beam
message from Aiki, "you mad at me ?"
>tb aiki why would i be mad?
Your comm unit signals a tight beam message from Aiki,
"uhmmmmmmmmmmm Let me think about it."
Your comm unit relays a message
from Ibunyc, "FED ! :::whispers:::: I went out
tonight ... RL is scary dont go there !"
Your comm unit relays a message from Thor, "thanks
Ib, It was close, I almost went."
Your comm unit relays a message from Chiefsgirl,
":::chains Ibu to his computer so he can't try that
again::::"
Your comm unit relays a message
from Peggysus, "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Why am I so
dumb? I thought the free weekend was next weekend!"
Your comm unit relays a message
from Andy, "will I be pretty... will I be rich, que
serah..."
Your comm unit relays a message
from Sholevi, "Somebody please kill me, my ego is
getting out of hand again."
MOODS
OF THE MONTH
Someone You Should Avoid is here.
It was like that when I got here.
Nicelady has just arrived.
Wanting to rummage in the recycler,
Magesmiley has just vanished.
Seventh Day Alcoholist, Poco is
here.
An exact copy of You has just
arrived.
Often improved, never imitated Thor
has just arrived.
About as graceful as a dump truck,
Bandle has just moved northeast.
with the grace of a bovine dancer
Galinfenner has just arrived.
Viagra + beans = Stiff Winds ~ Andy
is here.
CLOTHES
OF THE MONTH
ex bandle
The envy of the universe basks in the glory of all.
Bandle is the one left of him.
ex snakeyes
Snakey is wearing the latest in Rattlesnake Skin
Spacewear, his boots are cobra hide from the shedding
season, and he wears a boa.
ex leiaa
Well the gown is missing but boy does that toe tag look
good!!! :D
ex bozoboyz
Sociopaths - exchange buys at - IG/ton and sells at
-80,193,012 IG/ton, 5,001 tons available.
POSTS
OF THE MONTH
211185:705 - Donner: Anyone seen
Santa??? That red nose twerp is acting up and needs to be
sent out to pasture ! We reindeer gonna stop pulling the
sled untill Santa makes the red nose reindeer for dinner!
Oh wait its only April! yikes im outta here !!
21184:517 - Mario: Fed up with
trekking to a bar for a meal? Try Mario's Pizza Delivery
Service. Fast food like Godfather used to make - it
really is a pizza you can't refuse!
ACT OF
THE MONTH
Magesmiley debates going to play on
Humor where they only kill you.
EXCUSE
OF THE MONTH
"would you PLEASE put a
restaurant flag on your lp", you say.
Magesmiley winks and says, "I don't like them on my
LP"
Magesmiley says, "fuel gets into the drinks"
SNOG OF
THE MONTH
Flee has just given you a
non-sexual non-discriptive snog.
PAINT
JOB OF THE MONTH
(Not even the Chronicle's Editor is
safe)
Wanting to rummage in the recycler,
Magesmiley has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation
effect.
Magesmiley has given you a friendly tickle!
"hello hello", says Magesmiley.
Magesmiley is looking at you...
Magesmiley pulls one of Uni's eyes open to see if she is
awake
"hmmmm", says Magesmiley.
Magesmiley starts unpacking his art set
Magesmiley mixes up some red
Magesmiley paints Uni's face a bright scarlet
Magesmiley add some purple to Uni's hair
Magesmiley gets the blue out and puts some on each of her
ears
Magesmiley paints Uni's lovely hospital gown a vivid
shade of orange
Magesmiley puts a bit of green on the lovely Hostess's
nose
Magesmiley does the arms in a hot pink color.
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