Official News - page 5

SKIING DOWN TITAN'S ICE MOUNTAINS

by Hazed

Following Dot Matrix's unfortunate exit from the Fed2 Star office - being carried out with two planks of wood glued firmly to her feet - there was only one thing she was fit for, and that was to go skiing. What a fortunate coincidence, then, that somebody has set up a skiing facility on one of Titan's ice mountains. We sent the newsdroid to take a look, and she sent back this report:

It seems out of character, but the normally work-focussed management of the mining operations on Titan, who famously don't allow their employees to celebrate Christmas, have agreed to allow a third party to set up a skiing facility on the moon of Saturn. Who that third party is, and why they are not charging visitors who want to go skiing in the new facility, nobody is saying, but for now we should just take advantage of this spectacular opportunity and worry about their possible ulterior motives later.

The experience starts just north of the Titan shuttle pad, where a fleet of hoppers waits to take visitors to the skiing facility. A short flight takes you to the foot of one of Titan's enormous ice mountains, covered in frozen methane ice and towering up through the swirling, orange clouds. A cafe - appropriately enough called the Methane Cafe - gives a place to sit and get refreshments and although the furnishings are verging on the spartan, the waitdroids will serve you anything you require.

After a quick drink I made my way to the chairlift which transported me up the mountain... a precarious ride, and not one for those who are scared of heights. At the top, anyone who doesn't already have skis attached to their feet by floor varnish can get the equipment, and then it's off to the nursery slope for a smooth run down the mountain, and a real sense of achievement at no longer being a novice.

After a quick pick-me-up in the Apres Ski bar - slightly more opulent than the basic cafe - I thought it was time to tackle the black run, so back up the mountain I went. This time, things didn't go so smoothly; I almost made it down without mishap, but then took a tumble at the last minute. Nothing daunted, I decided to have one last try, and this time I stayed upright all the way down and was rewarded with a little souvenir.

Skiing on Titan is a fabulous experience and I recommend that everyone tries it. Even the black run isn't truly dangerous; nobody has been killed or even seriously injured here, and all that risks damage is your pride if you fall over like I did. So head over to Saturn's moon and go on the piste.

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