Official News page 5

REAL LIFE NEWS: HOW NOT TO KILL SPIDERS

by Hazed

Some people don't like spiders. Others fear them. Either way, they don't want them in the house, and want them gone, or dead, preferably dispatched by somebody else.

But when a woman from Essex, England, spotted a spider in the bathroom late one night and screamed for her husband to DO SOMETHING, it all went horribly wrong.

The spider was not in easy reach, so father-of-two Chris Welding decided to terminate it by improvising a flamethrower. Well, you would, wouldn't you? He used an aerosol can of deodorant and a lighter, to spray fire behind the toilet, where the spider was lurking. Not a good idea. As he described the incident later: "The flame shot out and went round the back of the toilet and came back out at me. It was a bit of a shock." I bet it was!

Chris jumped into a cold shower to try to soothe the effects of his improvised fireball while his wife called the emergency services. As a result, two fire crews attended, and an ambulance took him to hospital to be treated. Luckily his injuries were minot: just two burned fingers and a burned knuckle.

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