TOP
TEN SIGNS OF FED MAINTENANCE
| 10.
|
You can't
find your planet because you don't remember where
you were when you got punted. |
| 9.
|
You can't
find your planet because it's still pending in
the queue. |
| 8.
|
Bored planet
owners tell newbies of the hard times when they
were captains, hauling uphill through the lag
both ways. |
| 7.
|
Most common
question over the airwaves: "Are we gonna
get charged for this?" |
| 6.
|
Snerts
apparently feel that the COM is for COMplaining. |
| 5.
|
Workthingies
have produced even less than usual. |
| 4.
|
You wake up
in the hospital due to pain caused by being
punted. |
| 3.
|
You shoot
some snert out of the sky just for saying he
likes to limbo. |
| 2.
|
Limbo is a
more popular meeting place than the Cantina on
Earth. |
| 1.
|
Ming sends planetary
officials to explore worlds devastated by Fed
Niņo. |
TOP TEN
REASONS IBGAMES IS CHARGING FOR FED
by Tickenest
Well, ibgames is finally
charging for Federation. We all knew it was going to
happen-we just didn't know when. But now, the time has
come. However, I've got the inside scoop as to why ibgames
has decided to start charging. So, as my final Top Ten
List before Tickenest shuffles off this mortal coil, I
give you:
| 10.
|
In a moment
of weakness, they bet on the Jets in the Super
Bowl. |
| 9.
|
Icedrake
mistook the petty cash for a Candy planet. |
| 8.
|
The constant
attacks on ibgames headquarters by those darn
macro-dumpers. |
| 7.
|
Maintaining
their RL alts was becoming too expensive. |
| 6.
|
The enormous
expense incurred when Crypto forgot to hit SAVE
on the only existing copy of the game code. |
| 5.
|
'Pay-to-play'
is just so catchy. |
| 4.
|
By having all
staff stay in the game 24/7, they can make a
killer profit off themselves. |
| 3.
|
The VLA made
them do it. |
| 2.
|
They need
funding for their missile silos in Scotland. |
| 1.
|
Remember those Fed
T-shirts? |
TOP TEN
SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN FED TOO LONG
by Peggysus
| 10.
|
You discover
that your four year old nephew is married with
children. |
| 9.
|
Your mouse
cord keeps getting tangled in your beard. |
| 8.
|
You suddenly
remember that Reagan is no longer President. |
| 7.
|
The pirate
says to you, "Look, here, just kill me and
go away." |
| 6.
|
Selena tells
you to get a life. |
| 5.
|
You get up to
eat and come back to find a "Dear John"
letter where your computer was. |
| 4.
|
(AOL version)
Your AOL timer says "You have been online
for 25 years. If you do not reply in 10 minutes,
you will be logged off..."
(ISP version) Your ISP has given up on counting. |
| 3.
|
You
frantically call information asking for the
number for Hazed - address Sol. |
| 2.
|
You've been
in the spyroom for 2 1/2 years. |
| 1.
|
Instead of saying,
"Knock hard, life is deaf", your screen
says "No one's home." |
QUOTES
OF THE MONTH
"is on the phone...",
says Bella.
Hazed wonders that Bella doesn't fall off!
Jonmp wonders how big the phone is.
Hazed says, "Not that big."
Jonmp says, "Well, you know what they say,
"What time is it when a Bella
sits on your phone? Time to get a new phone."
Lordhat pops out of a mushroom
Papamia steps on Lordhat.
"Lordhat wasn't a fungi.", says Papamia.
Your comm unit relays a message
from Threepio, "Hi! I need a bunch of rads and
monos. :)".
Your comm unit relays a message from Threepio,
":::thwaps his factories::: Pipe down and stop
talking through me!".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Catsmeowcc, "ahhhh why do people keep
disappearing when I tb them????".
Your comm unit relays a message from Truelaw, "Cats
that's not the Tight Beam, that's the Disintegration
Beam!!!".
Your comm unit relays a message from Catsmeowcc,
"yea and I just disintegrated my to best friends
:P".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Pintomike, "You are currently building a Stable
Fed. Construction will never be complete....".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Weazel, "i dont mean to bother fedgods but with
all the crashes its getting hard for me to get enough
profit....".
Your comm unit relays a message from Icedrake, "Oh,
well in that case, I guess we'll take all the other
crashes off the schedule.".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Nyota, "OH GEEZ! What the hell happened to my
ex?".
Your comm unit relays a message from Nyota, "Oh!
:::embarrassed::: I promoted!".
Hecatomb frowns and says, "Fed
keeps freezing."
"it's all those frozen planets people keep
getting...lowers the temp in fed to the freezing
point", you say.
Your comm unit relays a message
from Goldpirate, "just think... if'n FED locked all
asses out... I could be in here talk'n wif
m'self..".
Obeahcay says, "I know every
cab driver in the universe by his first name by now. I
must have had ten ships in the last couple months."
Your comm unit relays a message
from Barb, "Gaminglady said everyone on 9 is
asleep..are you? "
Your comm unit relays a message from Gaminglady,
"No, Barb ... I said I'd slept
with everyone on Nine ... there's a difference.".
Peggysus says, "Dragon, I bet
you 2 gigs I'll never make the news..."
Your comm unit crackles with a
message from Fireimp, "Who's grown weary of their
COM unit? Don't be shy about it ;)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Brain,
"me! I hate mine, it annoys the heck outta me"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Isanalt,
"Mine keeps hurting me.. Everytime I say something I
get eletrical shocks.. I can't get rid of it and it ain't
safe to take baths with.
Your comm unit relays a message
from Adora, "Is Fed back now?"
MOODS
OF THE MONTH
Guess what!!! Your Reallife has
just disappeared.
Awaiting full Limbo citizenship,
Encott has entered the room.
Captain! Sensors indicate that
Firestorm has just appeared.
You have a recurring dream that
Amythist has just appeared.
The Check IS in the Mail... Honest
Sterling is here.
9 out of 10 moods look like this,
Natasha has just moved southwest.
Mumbling about soap and cellmates,
Khirsah has entered the room.
Inthanely in love... Diamonds has
just arrived.
For rental purposes only... Alexis
has just arrived.
Reality has just left as Bigshell
has just arrived.
12 GTUs or it's free, Fedexpress
has just arrived.
1 lil 2 lil 3 lil alts.. Netmndr
has just entered the room.
RUN!! Jehova's witness, Fishbutts
has just arrived.
Your current mood is: Schnitzlebank
has just moved south.
My Reality Check bounced... Stevec
has just appeared.
Not being moody, Ladybella has just
moved south.
CLOTHES
OF THE MONTH
ex journey
A beautiful woman professor stands in front of you. She
is the Dean of Sexual Studies at the University of Fed.
Ex Seacolin
It occurs to you that such a view may bring you to the
attention of the Galactic Fair Sex Commission.
ACTS OF
THE MONTH
Pars has given you a TDX Greetings
card.
Andy does NOT ignore Fox, in fact
he STARES at the furry creature.
Fox puts up a mirror in Andy's face.
Andy falls in love.
|
